Jerry: You know, I remember when I was a kid growing up, kids would make fun of my name like you wouldn't believe. "Jerry Jerry Dingleberry", and "Seinsmelled".
Woman: "Seinsmelled"?
Jerry: Yeah. What about you? Did people make fun of your name?
Woman: Are you kidding? They were merciless! What do you expect when your name rhymes with a part of the female anatomy? [chuckles; kisses Jerry's neck] Of course, not everybody can be as sweet as you are.
Woman: Oh, Jerry.
Jerry: Oh, you!

George: Now, let's try "breast". Celeste... Kest...
Jerry: No.
George: Rest. Sest. Hest.
Jerry: "Hest"? That's not a name.
George: Well, you should have just asked her.
Jerry: I know, I should've asked her.
George: What are you gonna do now?
Jerry: I dunno. I can't ask her now. I've already made out with her. Once you make out with a woman, you can't ask her her name.
George: Aretha!
Jerry: No.
George: Bovary!
Jerry: All right, that's enough.

Dr. Siegel: [o.s.] Now we'll open the peritoneal cavity, exposing the body's internal organs. Nurse, retractor.
Jerry: What are you eating?
Kramer: Junior Mints. Do you want one?
Jerry: No.
Kramer: I can't see. Psst. [motions to the doctor to move out of the way]
Jerry: Where'd you get those?
Kramer: The machine. You want one? Here, take one.
Jerry: I don't want any!
Kramer: No, they're good!
Jerry: I don't want any!
Kramer: Just take one.
Jerry: No! Kramer, stop it!
[Jerry tussles with Kramer as he tries to force a Junior Mint on him. The Junior Mint goes flying from the observation deck, and lands in Roy's surgical cavity. The doctors and nurses hear a sound but have no idea what happened.]

George: Well, what did they do?
Jerry: They sealed him up with the mint inside.
George: They left the Junior Mint in him?
Jerry: Yes!
George: I guess it can't hurt him. People eat pounds of those things.
Jerry: Yes, they eat them. They don't put them next to vital organs in their abdominal cavity!

Kramer: Hey, this wallpaper is very good. My place looks like a ski lodge!
Jerry: Why did you force that mint on me? I didn't want the mint!
Kramer: Well, I didn't believe you.
Jerry: How could you not believe me?
Kramer: Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint. It's delicious!
Jerry: That's true.
Kramer: It's very refreshing!

George: Well, I got my triangles.
Jerry: Really.
George: Yup, you know, they really spruce up the apartment.
Jerry: Yeah, I'm sure. Well, I gotta call the Hospital. I gotta tell 'em what happened.
George: No, Jerry. I wouldn't do that.
Jerry: Why?
George: You could get in trouble.
Jerry: Look, I gotta try and help the guy.
George: Who are you to play God!? Every man's time comes! If his number is up, who are you to interfere!?

Roy: Hey, there's the guy who saved my life.
Dr. Siegel: You know I don't want to totally discount the emotional element in your recovery, but I think there were other factors at play here.
Jerry: What do you mean?
Dr. Siegel: I have no medical evidence to back me up, but something happened during the operation that staved off that infection. Something beyond science. Something perhaps from above...
Kramer: Mint?
Dr. Siegel: Those can be very refreshing.

Woman: And afterwards we went backstage and Olympia Dukakis autographed my playbill.
Jerry: Oh, what're you saying, you got her autograph?
Woman: Yeah.
Jerry: Do you have it with you?
Woman: Yeah, it's in my purse.
Jerry: Let me see.
Woman: You, know I really think I'm falling for you, Jerry Seinfeld.
Jerry: Oh, well, I really think I'm falling for you... [reads autograph] ...Joseph Puglia.
Woman: I had it autographed for my uncle.
Jerry: Yeah, I know.

Woman: You don't know my name, do you?
Jerry: Yes, I do.
Woman: What is it?
Jerry: It, uh, rhymes with a female body part.
Woman: What is it?
Jerry: Mulva. [she walks out] Gipple? Loleola? [Jerry goes over and opens the fridge, when a literal and metaphorical light goes on] Oh! [runs to the window] Delores!

George: You met her at the supermarket? How did you do that?
Jerry: Produce section. Very provocative area. A lot of melons and shapes. Everyone's squeezing and smelling... It just happened.
George: So when are you gonna see her?
Jerry: Tonight.
George: What's her name?
Jerry: I don't know.
George: How could you not know her name?
Jerry: I was a little nervous, I got distracted. It has something to do with a car, or a fish...