Sylvia: Ah! Is this your son in the bubble bath?
George: No, that's me.
Sylvia: Oh. You don't see many guys your age who keep baby pictures of themselves around. [laughs] I like it. Consistent with the rest of the house.
George: Yes, it is consistent. I've, uh, I've tried to maintain a consistent feel throughout the house.
Sylvia: What is this we're listening to?
George: The Ray Conniff Singers.
Sylvia: Mmmm, what's that smell? Kasha?
George: It's a pot pourri. May I, uh, may I show you the master bedroom?

Estelle Costanza: Oh, my God! [enters holding a small packet] This was in our bed.
Frank Costanza: What is this? [to George] A prophylactic wrapper?!
Estelle Costanza: What is this doing on my bed?!
George: I don't know, uh...
Jerry: I'll see you later. [quickly exits]

Frank Costanza: That's it! You're grounded!
George: You can't ground me, I'm a grown man.
Frank Costanza: You wanna live here? You respect the rules of our house. [yells] You're grounded!

Estelle Costanza: Oh, hello Elaine!
Elaine: Hello.
Ricky: Elaine! Hello! You look scrumptious.
Frank Costanza: Why'd you take my TV Guide?
Elaine: I'm so sorry about that, Mr Costanza, but look. Look, I brought you another one.
Ricky: I made this for you.
Elaine: Oh, thank you.
Frank Costanza: What is this? You got stains all over it! What the hell'd you do?
Ricky: Hey, you can't talk to her like that.
Frank Costanza: [shouts] I'll talk to her any way I want!
Ricky: Come on Elaine, let's go.
[As Ricky walks over to Elaine, he knocks over the coffee table with all Frank's TV Guides]
Estelle Costanza: My coffee table!

Ricky: Highlighter?
Elaine: Excuse me?
Ricky: To highlight the programs you plan to watch.
Elaine: Ah. Uh, look really... I'm just trying to read.
Ricky: Fine, okay. It's just, I've never seen a beautiful lady reading the Guide so far away from a TV. You must really like television.
[As the train is about to leave, Kramer rushes through the closing door. It shuts on his extended arm, holding out his gyro.]
Kramer: Elaine!
[A passenger walking by grabs Kramer's gyro. As Kramer removes his hand, the subway train moves on without him]
Ricky: Guess your boyfriend'll have to catch the next train.
Elaine: He's not my boyfriend.
Ricky: He's not? Interesting.

Gepetto: Well, I can have the table ready for you on Monday.
George: All right, but no later, because my parents are coming back.
Gepetto: They left you home alone, huh?

Frank Costanza: This stack should be bigger. Where's the TV Guide?
George: What TV Guide?
Frank Costanza: I'm missing TV Guide volume forty-one, number thirty-one.
Jerry: Uh, Elaine took it to read on the subway.
Frank Costanza: Elaine took it?
George: I didn't know she took it.
Jerry: Wah, it's two weeks old.
Frank Costanza: [shouts] How could you let her take the TV Guide?!
George: He collects them.
Jerry: You collect TV Guide?
Frank Costanza: The nerve of that woman. Walking into my house, stealing my collectible!

[As Jerry rushes back to the train, the door closes on his extended arm holding the gyro.]
Jerry: Elaine!
[A guy walking through the carriage takes the gyro and sits down opposite Elaine]
Al Roker: Guess your boyfriend's gonna have to catch the next train.
Elaine: He's not my boyfriend.
Al Roker: He's not? Interesting.
[Elaine looks down at her TV Guide and sees Al Roker smiling on the cover. When she looks back up, he is pulling the same face]

[stand-up:]
Jerry: I was always excited as a kid, when that new TV Guide would come. Somehow when that front cover's nice and flat, seems like there's good fresh TV shows in. Then, as the weeks go by you start to hate the TV Guide. All the shows stink. Everything's getting all crumpled and ripped from being sat on, thrown across the room. TV Guide is always thrown, never handed, to another person. It's the world's most thrown reading material. "Where's the TV Guide?" [mimes throwing] "There it is." You know, on the back of the TV Guide, they have a phone number, ninety-five cents a minute, they will give you the answers to the TV Guide crossword puzzle? My question is, if you can't do the TV Guide crossword puzzle, where are you coming across ninety-five cents?

Gepetto: They don't make these any more. The work is, is all done by hand. [Sylvia enters the store] Takes years, and years, and... Sylvia! For crying out, you're forty-five minutes late!
Sylvia: Yeah, yeah. [to George] Is that your car out there?
George: No, it's, it's his. [points to Jerry]
Sylvia: Oh, nice. You guys are obviously from Manhattan.
George: Well, he is. I, uh, I live around the corner.
Sylvia: Really? Ah, I didn't think any cool guys lived in this neighborhood.
George: Well, they do now. Neighborhood's changing.
Jerry: All right, I'll take it.
Gepetto: Smart choice.
Sylvia: Wow, you bought the Indian? Oh, you guys have great taste.
George: Well, we're collectors. We, uh, see objects of great beauty and, uh, we must have them.