George: And I got a date with the sales woman. She's got a little Marisa Tomei thing going on.
Jerry: Ah, too bad you got a little George Costanza thing going on.
George: I'm going out with her tomorrow, she said she had some errands to run.
Jerry: That's a date?
George: What's the difference? You know they way I work, I'm like a commercial jingle. First, it's a little irritating, then you hear it a few times, you hum it in the shower, by the third date it's "By Mennen!".
Jerry: How do you make sure your gonna get to the third date?
George: If there's any doubt, I do a leave-behind: Keys, glove, scarf... I go back to her place to pick it up, date number two.
Jerry: That's so old. Why don't you just show up at her door in a wooden horse?

Elaine: Well, as you can see, the comforter I expensed is actually the Aristotle goose down tunic. So what do you think?
Ipswich: Another bull's-eye.
Elaine: Well, Mr. Ipswich, since every one of my expenses was obviously for a legitimate business purpose...
[Elaine uses her WaterPik to water her office plants]
Ipswich: I just need to see the sable hat you purchased yesterday.
Elaine: The hat? Why do you need to see the hat?
Ipswich: Because it costs eight-thousand dollars.
Elaine: What?
[As Elaine turns around, she sprays Mr. Ipswich with the WaterPik]

Heather: Thank,s George, but I got it from here.
George: Oh, no, I'm in already. Come on. [puts down shopping bags] So you want to get together tomorrow?
Heather: No, I'm gonna be pretty busy.
George: What about this weekend?
Heather: I'm gonna be busy for a while.
George: Okay. [George throws his keys on the table] See you.
Heather: Hey, you forgot your keys.
George: What, those aren't my keys?
Heather: Well, they're not mine.
George: Oh, they are my keys. How weird.
Heather: [phone rings] Goodbye, George.
George: Yeah, bye.
Heather: George, bye!
[As Heather turns to answer the phone, George puts his Russian hat on Heather's couch, hidden behind a pillow]
George: Costanza. [like "By Mennen"]

Kramer: What is that Roger's Chicken? Oh, get that outta here.
Newman: I don't know. The man makes a pretty strong bird.
Kramer: Yeah? Well, I'm boycotting it.
Kramer: What is that, hickory?
Newman: Yeah, it's the wood that makes it good.

George: Excuse me, how much is this?
Clerk: $1.19.
George: I'll give you a quarter.
Clerk: Get the hell out of here.
Jerry: Tell him forty and no fork.
George: Thirty.
Clerk: That's it you leave and never come back!
Jerry: How about we leave and come back in a week?
Clerk: Deal!
George: All right see? We got something there.

Kramer: Oh, check it out.
Jerry: Wow. Kenny Rogers Roasters finally opened. Look at the size of that neon light.
Kramer: Rogers can't sell chicken around here, we got chicken places on every block.
Jerry: He is the gambler.

Jerry: Seth. Wow, what has it been, like, five years?
Seth: At least.
Jerry: You wanna grab lunch?
Seth: Uh, I'm actually headed back to the office.
Jerry: Seth, it's me. What's more important than catching up with an old college buddy?
Seth: Well, I am supposed to be in this meeting.
Jerry: Blow it off. Remember Poli-Sci? How many of those did we go to?
Seth: All right, I guess I can go.
Jerry: All right. All right. Hey, whatever happened to Moochie?
Seth: He's dead.
Jerry: Is that right?

George: I still don't understand how you can call lunch with me a business expense.
Elaine: What do you think of the catalog?
George: It stinks.
Elaine: There, we just talked business.
Heather: We do have the down comforter and the cookware you liked.
Elaine: Oh great, put it all on the Peterman account with the other stuff.
Heather: You know what else we have that you might like?
Elaine: I'll take it.
George: [puts on large Russian hat] Hey, you like?
Heather: I think that looks very nice on you.
George: Really? Elaine...Peterman account?
Elaine: Why not? [To worker] And some hair for my little friend here.

Jerry: So what's this job of yours?
Seth: Big investment firm. We just got the Citibank account. In fact, today was our first big meeting with them.
Jerry: The meeting you blew off?
Seth: [laughs] Yeah.
Jerry: Wasn't that kind of important?
Seth: Yeah.

Elaine: [on the phone] And I brought I whole new set of cookware, and a Waterpik.
Jerry: You use a Waterpik?
Elaine: Sure, Waterpik, floss, Plax, brush, Listerine...
Jerry: So you go in the bathroom at eleven, you're in bed by what, two?
Elaine: Well, at the latest.