‘The Butter Shave’
Season 9, Episode 1 - Aired September 25, 1997
George starts a new job following his physiotherapy. Kramer decides to shave with butter. Jerry is annoyed that Kenny Bania is riding his coattails. Meanwhile, Elaine comes back from a European trip with David Puddy.
Quote from George
George: You still going on in front of Bania, eh?
Jerry: That's right, and I'll tell you what. I'm feeling a little off.
George: What are you talking about? You're not!
Jerry: That's right, I'm taking a dive.
George: You're throwing the set?
Jerry: I'm laying down! Then let's see how he does up there, without all the assistance.
George: Listen, Jerry, Bania's voice is the voice of a new generation. My generation.
Jerry: We're four months apart.
George: Nevertheless, his time has come. Now, if you will kindly help me unwedge my front wheel, I'll be on my way. [beeps horn]
Quote from Jerry
Jerry: What's the deal with lampshades? I mean if it's a lamp, why do you want shade? [Kramer is the only one to laugh] And what's with people getting sick? [still just Kramer] I mean, what's the deal with cancer?
Man: [o.s.] I have cancer!
Kramer: Oh, tough crowd.
Quote from George
Man: Hey, hey! You dented my ride.
George: What you got there, the 4 volt? I did you a favor.
Man: How about I do you a favor upside your head?
George: Oh, yeah?
Man: Oh, yeah.
[George jumps back on his Rascal and floors it]
Man: Hey!
Woman: Get the bikes.
Quote from Newman
Kramer: Look at me! I'm all covered in oregano and Parmesan, and it's sticking to me because of the butter! Look at me!
Newman: Here. Hold this.
Kramer: What is this, parsley?
Quote from George
Thomassoulo: George? Your legs!
George: Are you a religious man, sir?
Thomassoulo: No.
[As Mr. Thomassoulo walks away, the old man catches up with George]
Man: Eat hickory!
Quote from Jerry
Kenny Bania: Hey Jerry, did you see it?
Jerry: Ouch.
Stu: Kenny! There you are. Jay Shermak and Stu Crespi from NBC. Listen, Kenny. Really funny out there.
Jerry: What?
Jay: That thing you did having the two guys running through? I love stuff you don't have to think too much about
Stu: Give us a call. We want to be in the Kenny Bania business.
Jay: By the way, Jerry? The suspenders? A little hacky.
Kenny Bania: How about that, Jerry? First you had a pilot on NBC and now I'll have one. Looks like I'm following you again.
Jerry: Oh, I'm gonna puke.
Kenny Bania: Puke? That's a funny word. Can I use that?
Quote from Elaine
Elaine: David, this has been the worst month of my life and if I never see you again it'll be too soon.
David Puddy: Ditto.
Elaine: Oh that's origi-
David Puddy: Shut up.
[Elaine gets in a cab]
Elaine: 86th and Broadway please.
Cab driver: I'm sorry, lady. There's a cab shortage. The Transit Police are making everybody share.
[David Puddy enters the cab on the left]
Elaine: Oh no.
[The Norwegian man enters on the right]
Norwegian Man: Hello! Oh no. I'm sorry.
Elaine: No!