David Puddy: You know, I think ultimately, I'm upset with myself. I knew what I was getting into. She's a bitter, unstable person. I mean, the sex was good. Which I'm sure was fine for her, but I need more.
Elaine: [elbows passenger to her left] Huh. You believing this?
Norwegian Man: Excuse me, I was sleeping.
Elaine: Well, you missed quite a performance. [drinks]
Norwegian Man: That's my apple juice.

Jerry: Someone's cooking.
Newman: Hello, Jerry.
Jerry: Hello, Newman.
Newman: You know, old friend, sometimes I ponder this silly gulf between us and I say, "Why?" Are we really so different. For what is--
Jerry: I'm not the one doing the cooking, Newman.
Newman: Damn you, Seinfeld. You useless pustule!

Norwegian Man: This is the Femti kroner.
Elaine: Oh. You know, my last boyfriend, he had a real kroner comprehension problem. Know what I mean? A real cement head.

Elaine: What are you doing?
David Puddy: It's a long flight, Elaine. I had to get on with my life.
Elaine: By making time with some floozy across the aisle?
David Puddy: Yeah, that's right. Well, what's going on over there with you and, uh, vegetable lasagna?
Elaine: This guy? He's an idiot. he doesn't mean anything to me.
Norwegian Man: I can hear you.
David Puddy: Well, she doesn't mean anything to me either. If it were up to me, we'd still be together.
Elaine: Well, maybe I feel the same way.
David Puddy: Okay.
Elaine: Okay, so now what?
David Puddy: Let's make out.

Jerry: Nice limp, you're bringing your work home with you?
George: No, I fake limp on my right. This is a real limp because I sprained my ankle.
Jerry: What happened?
George: Well, I was buttering myself up for a nice shave-
Jerry: Oh no, not you too?
George: I must have dripped some on the floor and I slipped and...
Jerry: You know what's good for that? Relish.

Jerry: They've added Bania to the network showcase and he's going on right after me.
George: So what? He's got a couple of good jokes.
Jerry: Oh, like what, Ovaltine? Why do dogs drink out of the toilet? Shopping carts with one bad wheel?
George: That's true, that always happens to me.
Jerry: You think that's funny?
George: I don't know, I like stuff you don't have to think about too much.
Jerry: You like Bania's act. You're a closet Bania fan!
George: Maybe I am.
Jerry: Oh, I'm gonna puke.
George: Puke! That's a funny word. Puke. [laughing] puke! Don't have to think about that.

Elaine: Do you want something to read?
David Puddy: Nah.
Elaine: Well, are you going to take a nap or-
David Puddy: Nah.
Elaine: You're just going to sit there staring at the back of a seat?
David Puddy: Yeah.
Elaine: That's it! I cannot take this! I mean, look at this, nothing has changed. We're back together two hours, we're having the same problems we had twelve hours ago.
David Puddy: Tell me about it. I don't know why I ever took you back.
Elaine: Please! I took you back. You know it. I know it. Vegetable lasagna here knows it.
Norwegian Man: Please, please. I don't want to get involved.
Elaine: Ugh, I hope a giant mountain rises out of the ocean and we just ram right into it and end this whole thing!

Newman: How much longer you gonna be? I'm starving here.
Kramer: Just a few more squirts. 'cause I gotta stay juicy.
Newman: The smell. It's still with you, huh?
Kramer: Yeah, it's baked on it. Hey, put a stick of butter in. Stir it up so it will melt. Oh, yeah. That feels good. Ah, now I'm simmering.
[A hungry Newman starts to worry that he's finding Kramer appetizing]
Newman: [runs out] I'll meet you at the coffee shop!

Thomassoulo: Good morning, George. Is something wrong with your other leg?
George: Oh, no, that's just the old handicap acting up.
Thomassoulo: But your cane's on the wrong side.
George: Oh, well, that's just because we're standing on opposite sides. See, when we met, I was over there and you were over here so the image was reversed, like in the mirror.
[They walk over to a mirrow on the wall]
George: See? This looks right to you, doesn't it?
Thomassoulo: Uh, yeah, I guess.
George: But, see here. Right. Wrong. Right. Wrong. Right. Right. Wrong--
Thomassoulo: Will you stop it, George? Just stop it! I think I can see what's going on here.

Jerry: [answers phone] Hello?
Elaine: Jerry.
Jerry: Hey, Laney, how's the trip going?
Elaine: Awful. This trip was a huge mistake. Huge!
Norwegian Man: Please don't shout. I can't take it.
Jerry: Who's that?
Elaine: It's Vegetable Lasagna.
Jerry: Who?
Elaine: Vegetable Lasagna!
Norwegian Man: My name is Magnus.
Elaine: Shut up or I'll snap you in half and stuff you in the overhead!
Jerry: Get me some duty-free Kahlua.