Jerry: You got the job?
George: Jerry, it's fantastic. I love the people over there. They treat me so great. You know, they think I'm handicapped. They gave me this incredible office, a great view.
Jerry: Hold on. They think you're handicapped?
George: Yeah, yeah. Well, because of the cane. You should see the bathroom they gave me!
Jerry: How can you do this?
George: Jerry, let's face it, I've always been handicapped. I'm just now getting the recognition for it. Name one thing I have that puts me in a position of advantage, huh? There was a guy that worked at the Yankees, no arms! He got more work done than I did, made more money. He had a wife, a family, drove a better car than I did.
Jerry: He drove a car with no arms?
George: All, right I made up the part about the car, but the rest is true. He hated me anyway!
Jerry: Do you know how hard it's getting just to tell people I know you?
George: I love that bathroom. It's got that high, high toilet. I feel like a gargoyle perched on the ledge of a building.

Jerry: Kramer!
Kramer: Oh, man. I think I cooked myself.
Jerry: Look at your skin.
Kramer: Oh, stick a fork in me, Jerry. I'm done.

Kramer: Did you see Bania's set last night? 'cause I read on the Internet he killed.
Jerry: He killed. He only does well when he has me for a lead-in. He's a time slot hit.
Kramer: Well, you gotta give him some credit. [rubs a stick of Jerry's butter across his face] You're just being totally ridiculous. I'll see you later buddy.
Jerry: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait a minute.
Kramer: What?
Jerry: Do I have to ask?
Kramer: I ran out of butter so I had to borrow yours. Anything else, Mr. Nosy?