George: Hi, I was just uh... I just had one little question about my assignment.
Wilhelm: Yes, well I trust things are moving smoothly. Mr Steinbrenner's counting on you, you know.
George: Yes, yes. Very smooth, super smooth. No, but I really wanna attack this thing, you know. Sink my teeth into it. So I was just wondering... what do you think would be the very best way to get started?
Wilhelm: Get started? I don't understand, George.
George: Well, I was wondering...
Wilhelm: You mean you haven't been to payroll?
George: Payroll? No, no, I haven't done that.
Wilhelm: Well, what's the problem? Now come on, George. I told the big man you were moving on this. Now, don't let him down! [exits]
George: Payroll! [grabs jacket, runs out]

George: Hello there. I'm George Costanza.
Clerk: Yes?
George: Assistant to the travelling secretary. ... I'm, uh, working on the project.
Clerk: What project?
George: Payroll project. Wilhelm? Big uh, big payroll project.
Clerk: You're gonna have to fill me in.
George: You know what, I'll just uh, I'll just look around for a little while. I'll just browse around.
Clerk: [blocks George] Hey, wait, hey. Excuse me. Uh, you can't come back here.
George: Look, I am under direct orders from Mr Wilhelm. So if you have a problem with that, maybe you should just take it up with him.
Clerk: Well, maybe I will.
George: You know what, I urge you to take it up with him. Go ahead, give him a call, he'll tell you what I'm doing here. Then you can tell me.

Clerk: [on the phone] Mr. Wilhelm, uh, this is Lafarge in payroll. Uh, there's a Costanza here, says he's working on some project? Oh. Oh, I see. Interesting. Well, that's quite a project. All right, thank you. [hangs up; to George:] Ah, I'm sorry uh, that I doubted you. Whatever you need, just uh, make yourself at home.
George: So he explained it all to you?
Clerk: Yes, he explained it all very clearly.
George: What'd he tell you?
Clerk: Look! You were right, I was wrong! You don't have to humiliate me about it, all right!

Elaine: So? What'd they say?
Jerry: They're sending a detective to my apartment tomorrow.
Elaine: What the hell were you thinking leaving my clubs in that car?!
Jerry: Well, I didn't count on my mechanic pulling a Mary-Beth Whitehead, did I?
Elaine: Well, what kind of maniac is this guy?
Jerry: He's a very special maniac.

J. Peterman: Well, are they here?
Elaine: Mr. Peterman, uh... There seems to be a bit of a snag.
J. Peterman: Snag?
Elaine: It seems that a psychotic mechanic has absconded with my friend's car.
J. Peterman: What does that have to do with my clubs?
Elaine: They happened to be in the back seat at the time.

George: Uh, Mr Wilhelm. Uh, about the project...
Wilhelm: That's what I came to talk to you about. Great job, George. You really nailed it.
George: I did?
Wilhelm: Oh yes, I read through it this morning. I couldn't have done it better myself, and I turned it right over to Mr. Steinbrenner. Good work, George.

Jerry: [answers phone] Hello?
Detective: Mr. Seinfeld?
Jerry: Yeah.
Detective: It's Detective McMahon. I'm at the warehouse on Pier 38. Ah, I think you'd better get down here.
Jerry: Yeah, okay. [to Elaine] They may have found the car.
Elaine: Are the clubs in it? Ask him.
Jerry: Are there golf clubs in the back?
Detective: We really can't tell. You better bring your service records.

Young Cop: Watch where you step. There's quite a bit of... grease. Detective, Jerry Seinfeld is here.
Detective: How do you do. Thanks for coming down.
Jerry: This is Elaine Benes.
Elaine: We used to date, but now we're just friends.
Detective: I see. I'm sorry to make you go through this, but we need to make sure.
Jerry: Well, what's going on? What is this thing?
Detective: One of our patrolmen stumbled over this. [lifts the sheet]
Elaine: [gasps]
Jerry: Oh my God!
[The young cop removes his cap]

Detective: The block is nearly split apart. We found the overhead cams thirty feet away. We can only hope the body sold for scrap.
Elaine: Oh, my God.
Detective: And we know it's a Saab. The angle on the V6 is definitely '92. The model is hard to determine because the drive train is all burnt out.
Jerry: What is that smell?
Detective: Look at the clutch. [Jerry and Elaine gag]
Young Cop: Excuse me. [goes to get some air]

Detective: Whoever did this didn't just dismantle it. I mean, they took their time, they had fun. They were very systematic. They went out of their way to gouge the sides of every piston, and the turbo was separated from the housing and shoved right up the exhaust pipe.
Elaine: Uh.
Jerry: Wait a second. Turbo? I didn't have a Turbo.
Detective: Your car's not a Turbo?
Jerry: No, it's a 900 S. It's aTurbo, Elaine. A Turbo!
Elaine: [sobbing with happiness] It's a turbo.
Woman: Excuse me, did you say Turbo? Saab Turbo 9000? Is it... [voice breaking] midnight blue?
Detective: Yes, ma'am.