George: Well, I still don't know what I'm supposed to do. I don't even know what my assignment is.
Jerry: Ask him to repeat it. Tell him there was an echo in there.
George: I can't. He's been on my case about not paying attention. Besides, it's too late, I already told him I heard him.
Jerry: You know what you do? Ask him a follow-up question. Tell him you're having trouble getting started, and you want his advice.
George: Yeah, follow-up question, that'll work.

Kramer: You should have come, Jerry.
Newman: We made quite a haul.
George: Where'd you go?
Kramer: Price Club.
George: Why didn't you take your car?
Kramer: Ah, the steering wheel fell off. I don't know where it is.

[After Newman throws his empty soda bottle in Jerry's trash can]
Kramer: What are you doing? Don't throw that away.
Newman: Well, I'm not paying the five cents for that stupid recycling thing.
Kramer: No, you don't pay five cents, you get five cents back. Here, read the label here. "Vermont, Connecticut, Massachusetts, New York. Refund... five cents."
Newman: Refund?
Kramer: Yes.
Jerry: Well, what do you think the hobos are doing?
Newman: I don't know, they're deranged.

Elaine: Oh, my God, look who's here.
Jerry: Sue Ellen Mishke, the braless 'O Henry' candy bar heiress.

Sue Ellen: I'm surprised to see you here. Come to catch a glimpse of high society?
Elaine: [fake laughter] No, no, I'm actually here to bid, Sue Ellen. I mean that is if anything is to my liking.
Jerry: I'm here to catch a glimpse... of high society.
Sue Ellen: Well, I hope you find something that fits your budget.
Elaine: [under her breath to Jerry] I... hate that woman.

Elaine: Peterman is going to kill me.
Jerry: I really thought you had her there at seventeen thousand.
Elaine: Why didn't you stop me?

Newman: So we could put the bottles in a U-haul. You know, go lean and mean?
Kramer: Newman, it's a dead-end, come on.

Jerry: Hey. You put your groceries under the hood of my car?
Kramer: Oh, that's right, we forgot about those.
Newman: That's where my missing soda is.
Jerry: And your crab legs, and a thing of cheese. The Triple-A guy said I was this close to sucking a muffin down the carburetor. What were you thinking?
Kramer: We ran out of space.

Jerry: Now I gotta take the car down to Tony and get it checked out.
Kramer: Ah, Tony, he's good.
Jerry: Yeah, he's real good. But he's so obsessive about the car. He makes me feel guilty about every little thing that's wrong with it. I gotta get it washed before I bring it down to him, or I'm afraid he'll yell at me.

J. Peterman: Twenty thousand dollars!?! Elaine, that's twice the amount I authorized you to spend.
Elaine: I know, Mr Peterman, but... but... but... but once I saw them, I just couldn't stand to let anyone else have them. You know, certainly not some stuck-up candy bar heiress who shamelessly flaunts herself in public without any regard...
J. Peterman: Well, where are they?
Elaine: They should be here today.