Jerry: Well, everybody's cranky on their birthday.
George: Oh, it's a bad day. You got everyone in your house, you're thinking, "These are my friends?"
Jerry: Everyday is my birthday.

Jerry: We were too compatible. Our conversations were so engrossing.
George: How engrossing?
Jerry: If we had a problem with Elaine, we could bring in Nina and not lose a step.
George: You don't have a replacement lined up for me, do you? [chuckles; Jerry is silent]
Jerry: ... Anyway, like I was saying, I couldn't make the transition from conversation to sex. There were no awkward pauses. I need an awkward pause.
George: I'm all awkward pauses. Fix me up with her.

Kramer: Hey, how you doing?
Jerry: Oh, hi. I'm Jerry Seinfeld. I'm moving in. I saw your name on the buzzer. You must be Kessler.
Kramer: No, actually, it's Kramer.
Jerry: Oh.
Kramer: You need any help or...?
Jerry: No, thanks. But I ordered a pizza, you want some of it?
Kramer: No, no, no. I couldn't impose.
Jerry: Why not? We're neighbors. What's mine is yours.
Kramer: Really?

Jerry: Oh, nobody's calling off any weddings. All right, it's time to go. Come on. Up.
Elaine: Do you know what 'Jerry' is in Indian?
Jerry: No, what?
Elaine: Jugdish.
Jerry: Yes, jugdish.

Elaine: Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Ranawat.
Mr. Ranawat: Please. Please. Call us Usha and Zubin.
Elaine: Well, Usha...
Mr. Ranawat: I'm Zubin.

Elaine: Anyway, your son is marrying my friend, Sue Ellen Mischke...
Mrs. Ranawat: You're not going to the wedding, are you?
Elaine: Well...
Mrs. Ranawat: Don't go. India is a dreadful, dreadful place.
Mr. Ranawat: You know, it's the only country that still has the plague. [laughs] I mean, the plague. Please.
Mrs. Ranawat: Here's the registry. Send her a gift and be glad you did not have to go.
Elaine: Right. Don't go, send a gift? I think I understand.
Mr. Ranawat: If I had to go to India, I wouldn't go to the bathroom the entire trip.
Elaine: That's fantastic.
Mr. Ranawat: And I'm not so crazy about Manhattan either.

Kramer: All right, FDR.. This wish is for all the marbles. You win, you get your wish, I drop dead. I win, I don't drop dead, and I get one-hundred percent anti-drop-dead protection. Forever.
FDR: All right. [they pull, FDR wins]
Kramer: Oh, man! Well, then, come on. There's got to be something that'll change your mind, FDR. Something. [FDR picks up chiller] What, you want my kidney? [FDR removes snow ball] Mama!

Kramer: Hey, FDR wants me to drop dead.
George: FDR?
Kramer: Yeah, Franklin Delano Romanowski. I go to his birthday party and just before he blew out his candles he gives me this look.
George: Stink eye?
Jerry: Crook eye?
Kramer: Evil eye.

Kramer: Oh, hey, hey. Yeah. Check it out. Man, it's packing tight.
Jerry: Why are you bringing snowballs in here for?
Kramer: I need some water. Ice it up, nice and hard. Then when you throw it... Oh, look, there's my friend FDR. I'm gonna nail him in the back of the head. It's gonna be great.