Nina: George, I've used the bathroom. It's fine.
George: No, no, no, no. I can walk it off. It's a hundred and twenty degrees in here. I'll sweat it out.

Jerry: George, we need to talk.
George: I think you've done a lot more than talk! You betrayed me!
Jerry: All right, I admit it. I slept with Nina, but that's all.
George: "That's all"?! That's everything! I don't know what all the rest of it is for anyway!
Jerry: I'm really sorry.
George: You can stuff your sorries in a sack, mister!
Jerry: Where'd you get that one?
George: It's an expression.

George: Look, we are gonna settle this right now. I demand reparations. I should get to sleep with Elaine. That's the only way to punish you.
Jerry: That doesn't punish me. It punishes Elaine! And cruelly, I might add.
George: Funny guy.

Elaine: Hey, monkeys. Knock it off. My best friend is trying to get married up here!
George: Elaine, you have to sleep with me.
Elaine: I'm not gonna sleep with you.
George: Reparations!
Elaine: Would you grow up, George?! What is the difference? Nina slept with him, he slept with me, I slept with Pinter. Nobody cares! It's all ancient history.
George: [loudly] You slept with the groom?!

Elaine: I can't tell you.
Jerry: Here, drink this.
Elaine: Okay. I slept with the groom.
Jerry: Pinter?
Elaine: He used to be called Peter.
Jerry: So? Who cares about that?
Elaine: Sue Ellen! If she knew, she'd call off the whole wedding.

Elaine: Oh boy. There's Sue Ellen. She didn't want me at this wedding, but here I am with a buch of my idiot friends!
Jerry: This is gonna be great!
Sue Ellen: Elaine? Oh! Oh, I am so happy to see you!
Elaine: You are?
Sue Ellen: Well, of course! No one else was even willing to come to India. I mean, not even Pinter's parents and they're Indian.
Elaine: Come on, Sue Ellen. You don't wear a bra, you're tall. We hate each other!
Sue Ellen: Elaine, I know. I know we've had our problems, but.. I want you to be my maid of honor and my best friend.
Elaine: Huh. All right, I guess.

Elaine: Here's your plane ticket.
Jerry: What are you talking about?
Elaine: Sue Ellen sends me an invitation one week before her wedding in India. I'll show her.
Jerry: By flying half way around the world?
Elaine: Spite never sleeps.
Jerry: Especially when you got a layover in Sarajevo.

Newman: You see, my dear, all certified mail is registered, but registered mail is not necessarily certified.
Model: I could listen to you talk about mail all day.
Newman: Anything you wish. I'll tell you a little secret about zip codes: they're meaningless. [laughs]

Elaine: You slept with Nina. What are you gonna tell George?
Jerry: Nothing. And neither will you. George can never know about this. It'll crush him.
Elaine: All right, all right, I'll put it in the vault.
Jerry: No good. Too many people know the combination.
Elaine: What combination? [Jerry mimes drinking] Don't be ridiculous.

Jerry: Oh, my God, this drawer is filled with Froot Loops.
Elaine: So what?
Jerry: And milk.