Jerry: Sid left the keys in the car.
George: Who's Sid?
Jerry: He's this guy in the neighborhood, parks cars on the block.
George: What do you mean?
Jerry: He moves them from one side of the street to the other so you don't get a ticket.
George: What, do you pay him for that?
Jerry: Yeah, like fifty bucks a month.
George: How many people does he do that for?
Jerry: The whole block. Forty, fifty cars.
Kramer: He only works three hours a day. He makes a fortune. Course he's been doing that for years, right Jerry?
George: Could anybody do that?

George: Sid, who's gonna move the cars while you're away?
Sid: Whoever wants to move them. What do I care who moves them? They can move themselves if they want.
George: Maybe I could move them until you get back.
Sid: What's a young man like you want to move cars for? You don't work?
George: I'm in a transition phase right now.
Sid: Well, if you want to move the cars, move the cars. Just don't forget to take the keys out, that's all.

Jerry: [answers the phone] Hello? Yeah, the defroster's the one on the bottom. Just slide it all the way over. You're welcome.

Elaine: I'm in awe of his intellect. When he talks it sounds like he's reading from one of his novels.
Jerry: Owen March, I never heard of him.
Elaine: Well, he's not a baseball player.
Jerry: Yeah, that's true. Well it sounds like it's going pretty good.
Elaine: Yeah. Well, there is one little problem.
Jerry: What's that?
Elaine: He's sixty-six years old.

Rental Car Agent: Can I help you? Name please?
Jerry: Seinfeld. I made a reservation for a mid-size, and she's [gestures to Elaine] a small. I'm kidding around, of course.

Elaine: What do you think, would you go out with a sixty-six year old woman?
Jerry: Well, I'll tell you, she would have to be really vibrant. So vibrant, she'd be spinning.

Rental Car Agent: But we do have a compact if you would like that.
Jerry: Fine.
Rental Car Agent: All right. We have a blue Ford Escort for you Mr. Seinfeld. Would you like insurance?
Jerry: Yeah, you better give me the insurance, because I am gonna beat the hell out of this car.
Rental Car Agent: Please fill this out.

Kramer: Whoa, whoa!!
Jerry: What is going on out there?
George: I need like a bucket of water! I got a car overheating, I got an alarm that won't go off, I'm pressing 'one', I'm pressing 'two', nothing! What do I do?! Help me! Help me!

Elaine: What happened? What took you so long?!
Paramedic: We got here twenty minutes ago but we couldn't move, the whole
intersection is gridlocked, I've never seen anything like it. So finally we make the turn and this guy who's running around triple-parking cars slammed into us with a blue Escort.
Jerry: Blue Escort? That's my rent-a-car!
[George enters, wiping blood from his forehead]
George: Oh, man.
Jerry: What happened to the car?
George: Sorry, you don't know what's going on out there!

George: Who's he?
Elaine: This guy I'm seeing.
George: What happened?
Jerry: We don't know!
Paramedic: Who put cookies in his mouth?
Jerry and Elaine: Cookies?
Paramedic: You're not supposed to do that.