Elaine: Five seconds. Jerry, I was five seconds away from breaking up with him. Five seconds. The next words out of my mouth were, "Owen, it's over."
Jerry: Can he communicate?
Elaine: Yeah. Well, he nods. And I think he understands me. He seems to enjoy it when I read to him.

Jerry: Hi, I called before. Uh, my car got smashed.
Elaine: So listen, what should I do? I mean if I break up with him now it'll look like I'm abandoning him because of his condition, I'll be ostracized from the community.
Jerry: What community? There's a community?
Elaine: Of course there's a community.
Jerry: All these years, I'm living in a community, I had no idea.

Elaine: Ah, it's good, isn't it? Yankee Bean. Why Yankee Bean, huh? Don't they have beans in the south? I mean if you order Yankee Bean in the south, are they offended? Huh? [singing] Yankee Bean, Yankee Bean, I like my Yankee Bean. [she puts the bowl down and wipes Owen's mouth with a napkin] Owen, I think we have to talk. I mean, uh, I have to talk. It would be nice if we could, but, uh... Whatever. Um, don't get me wrong, I like coming here, and uh, feeding you and cleaning a little, and paying your bills, that's good stuff. Good stuff! I have a wonderful time when I'm with you, wonderful! But at this point in my life, I'm not really sure that I'm ready to make a commitment to one person. I'm just not really sure that we have enough in common. For example, I like running in the park, bicycling, roller skating, tennis and skiing, and um... Well, I'm gonna be brutally honest with you now, Owen. It's a bitch to get here. It's two subways. I have to transfer at 42nd Street to take the double-R. Anyway, I mean, this doesn't mean we can't be friends. These pretzels are making me thirsty.

Elaine: Can you die from an odor? I mean, like if you were locked in a vomitorium for two weeks, could you actually die from the odor?
Jerry: An overdose of odor? Good question.
George: Do I smell?
Elaine: No no no no, I was just down on the 42nd street subway today, it is disgusting. Guess who I bumped into. Owen.
Jerry: Ahh.
George: He's all right?
Elaine: Yeah, he's almost fully recovered. He told me he was just using me for sex.

Jerry: Let me get that.
George: No, no, no, I got it.
Jerry: Please.
George: No, come on, let me. Let me. I smashed your car, it cost you over two thousand dollars...
Jerry: Yeah, a cup of coffee should cover it.