Elaine: Careful, you're getting crumbs all over him.
Kramer: I got him chewing but I don't think he's gonna swallow.
Elaine: You know what, let's put a few cookies in a blender and he could drink it.
Jerry: Cookies don't liquefy.
Elaine: Yes, they do. You can liquefy a cookie.
Kramer: All right, I'll get a blender.
Jerry: What blender? I don't have a blender.
Kramer: You got a blender.
Jerry: I would know if I had a blender.
Elaine: Where is the ambulance?!
[A siren is heard nearing the building, before a crashing sound]

Elaine: He seems to be breathing.
Jerry: You know, I gotta tell you, he's a pretty good-looking guy.
Elaine: I know.
Jerry: Those eyebrows could use a trimming, you ever mention that to him?
Elaine: Almost.
Jerry: Hey, look at this, come on, they're running wild there.
Elaine: It's not an easy thing to bring up.
Jerry: Yeah, that's true.
Elaine: Aw, you should see his bathrobe, man. It's all silk.
Jerry: Yeah? Does he wear slippers? I bet he wears slippers.
Elaine: He does, how'd you know that?
Jerry: I could tell.

Jerry: So how'd you hit the car?
George: I was moving it across the street, I looked up and I saw Woody Allen and I got all distracted.
Jerry: It's not even my car. It's a rental.
Kramer: [enters] What are you doing out there?! You're holding up the production of the movie! We can't shoot and Woody, he's really mad at you.
George: Woody mentioned me? What did he say?
Kramer: He said, "Who's the moron in the blue jacket who's got the street all screwed up?"
George: Should I apologize to Woody?
Kramer: All right, I'll tell you what. Next time I talk to him, maybe I'll bring it up. [puts on sung lases] I'll feel him out.

Sid: Now you didn't tell me you didn't know how to drive. You should have mentioned that.
George: Well, I know how to drive.
Sid: Then how'd all those cars get damaged? Why are people calling me up screaming on the phone? Most of them cancelled out on me.
Jerry: Can I get anybody anything?
Sid: Moving cars from one side of the street to the other don't take no more sense than putting on a pair of pants. My question to you is who's putting your pants on?
George: I put my pants on, Sid.
Sid: I don't believe you. If you can put your pants on, you can move those cars.
George: Well, I don't want to get into a big dispute about the pants.
Sid: Who's gonna send money to my sister in Virginia? Her little boy needs surgery on his foot. Now, he'll be walking around with a limp because you can't park a few cars.
George: Maybe I could call my father.

Kramer: Hey, you seen the paper yet?
Jerry: Interestingly enough, no, inasmuch as it is my paper.
Kramer: Yeah. There's an article in there about that writer.
Jerry: "Owen March, prominent author and essayist suffered a stroke yesterday in the upper West Side apartment of a friend."
Kramer: Uh-huh, that's the guy that was here. You're the friend.
Jerry: "The extent of the damage would have been far less severe had paramedics been able to reach him sooner."
Sid: Oh, Lord.
Jerry: "The commotion also delayed production of a Woody Allen movie that was shooting up the block. A spokeswoman for the legendary filmmaker said that Mr. Allen was extremely agitated and wondered if his days of shooting movies in New York were over."

Jerry: What are you doing here?
Kramer: I got fired from the movie.
George: Get out of here, why?
Kramer: Well, you know they were gonna shoot it today, and uh, we rehearsed it twice, then Woody yells "Action!" and I turn to him and I say...
All: "These pretzels are making me thirsty".
Kramer: And I took a swig of beer, you know, and I slammed the glass down on the bar and it shattered.
Elaine: Aw.
Kramer: Well, one of the pieces must have hit Woody. He started crying. And he yells out, "I'm bleeding" and he runs off. Anyway, this woman, she came up to me and she says, "You're fired." Boy, I really nailed that scene.
[Kramer throws a pair of driving gloves down on the table.]
Jerry: Aw, wait a-- Oh. Oh, for crying out loud.

Jerry: Do you believe this? The car was parked right out front.
George: Was the alarm on?
Jerry: I don't know, I guess it was on. I don't know my alarm sound. I'm not tuned in to it like it's my son.
George: I don't understand, how do these thieves start the car?
Jerry: They cross the wires or something.
George: Cross the wires? I can't even make a pot of spaghetti.

Jerry: They stole my car.
Kramer: Who did?
Jerry: They did.
Kramer: Was it more than just one?
Jerry: What should I do, should I call the police?
Kramer: What are they gonna do?

[As Jerry chats on the phone with the man who stole his car, Kramer signals for him to hand over the phone]
Kramer: Hello?
Man: Yeah, who's this?
Kramer: Kramer.
Man: Hello, Kramer.
Kramer: Listen, there's a pair of gloves in the glove compartment.
Man: Wait, hold on. [pause] Brown ones?
Kramer: Yeah. Listen, could you mail those to me? Or bring them by my building, it's 129 West 81st St.
Man: One-two-nine, okay.
Kramer: Thanks a lot. Uh, here's Jerry.

Jerry: [on the phone] Hello?
Man: Jerry?
Jerry: Yeah, let me ask you a question. How do you cross those wires?
Man: I didn't cross any wires, the keys were in it.
Jerry: Sid left the keys in the car. All right, I gotta go. Drive carefully.
Man: Jerry, when's the last time you had a tune-up? Because I can't find the- [Jerry hangs up]