Turk: You want to talk about sad, I spent the whole morning moping around 'cause J.D. wasn't here. It took me about an hour to get out of it.
Elliot: Oh, he said to say he misses you.
Turk: He did?
Elliot: Yeah.
[Turk exhales deeply as the Scrubs sad theme plays]
Elliot: It's okay. It's okay. He reacted the same way when he got your muffin basket.

Elliot: Look, Turk, I know that you're hurting, but you're gonna find someone else here to ride the eagle with.
Turk: Elliot, you don't ride the eagle. You eagle. You choose "toe or thumb?". You join "Fight Club with Pillows."
Elliot: You and J.D. had a pillow fight club?
Turk: The first rule of pillow fight club, you don't talk-
Elliot: Yeah, I get it.
Turk: No, I don't think you do. Elliot. Elliot, please don't say anything.

Dr. Kelso: Hey, Turkleton. I know what it's like to lose a friend. I lost my good buddy Steve back in Korea.
Turk: Sir, that was a horrible war.
Dr. Kelso: Yes, it was, but I'm talking about a family trip we took to the '88 Olympics. I suggested a wife swap to Steve, and things got pretty weird. Yes, it was an amazing night, but was it worth it to lose a good friend over? Probably.

Denise: Great effort in the sack last night. Just remember, when I say, "I hate you. Don't touch me," It's not about you. It's about all men.
Drew: Cool.

Elliot: That's okay.That's okay, Turk. I can do this with you. See that nurse over there? She looks like a Mexican Carrie Scott.
Turk: Who?
Elliot: Childhood friend. Yeah, she, uh, joined a cult and disappeared when she was 16. Oh, my God. That could actually be her if she got really tan. Carrie! Carrie Scott! No, not her. Police are right. She's probably dead. What were we talking about?
Turk: I don't remember.

Dr. Kelso: So I said to the lady, "Where can a well-hung marine buy a pair of shoes around here?" [laughs]
Turk: [laughs] I don't even know what that is.
Dr. Kelso: Turkleton, those days are gone.
Denise: Dr. Kelso, really? Please tell me you're not another one of Dr. Turk's gentleman suitors.
Dr. Kelso: I am indeed. I think it will be great to have a black friend to help me out with the sisters. Get my swirl on.
Turk: That's what I'm talkin' 'bout.

Lucy: [v.o.] I finally figured out the key to getting everything done at medical school. Do a bunch of things at once and never sleep.
Lucy: [on the phone] Hey, Dad. Don't have a lot of time for our daily update, but here goes. School's hard, dorm's gross, not really dating, but I am having my lady needs tended to by a handsome young stallion. [laughs] Wow. Just remembered who I'm talking to. Sorry, Dad. But since it's out there, hot damn, I am in the middle of a real sexual awakening right now. Hmm? Yeah, that's about enough for me today, too. Talk to you tomorrow.

Lucy: Oh, good. Dr. Turk. I scanned those slides for your lung lecture. I e-mailed them to you. Did you get a chance to check 'em?
Turk: He's gone, Lucy. He's gone.
Lucy: [v.o.] Yesterday was Dr. Dorian's last day. Dr. Turk was taking it pretty hard.
[fantasy: Turk sings as he carries J.D.'s casket in a New Orleans-style funeral with a brass band]
Lucy: He done gone to Zion.
Turk: What?

Elliot: Hey, Turk. Okay, this is why pregnancy sucks. Your stupid name took my head right to "turkey," because I Have been craving the hell out of thanksgiving food all week. This morning I actually pounded a jar of cranberry sauce and some dry stuffing. It was like a holiday, only much, much sadder.

Drew: Crap, I'm late for class.
Denise: Drew, wait. There's something I have to tell you. I'm late, too.
Drew: You missed your-
Denise: Yeah.
Drew: Oh, my god.
Denise: [laughs] I'm kidding. Your face looks so dumb right now.
Drew: Why would you do that to me?
Denise: I'm bored.
Drew: You're lucky I vibe on crazy. [they kiss]
Denise: I hate you. Don't touch me.
Drew: Fair enough.