Dr. Cox: Now then, today we will be looking at patients with pancreatic disorders.
Drew: Shh.
Cole: [loudly] Hey, Drew. Glad you could make it.
Drew: Sorry I'm late.
Dr. Cox: You should be sorry as I'm giving all of you murderers the honor of shadowing me today. There is no penalty forthcoming, However, as it is an optional exercise.
Cole: Optional? Hey, man, I gotta cruise. Bunch of crap to do. You- You cool here?
Dr. Cox: Now just a second. You're leaving? Well, what the heck am I supposed to do? How will the hospital get by, for god sake? [mutters] Shut it down. [electricity powers down] Everyone, shut it down. It's over. [machine beeping erratically] Stop saving lives.

Cole: [laughs] Man, you crack me up. Ugh. Uh, but for reals, I gotta split. I met this old cat upstairs who's got really painful glaucoma. [sing-songy] Translation: crazy-ass government product. [normal voice] Yeah, we'll probably hang out. Maybe watch some Benson reruns. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Dr. Cox: Number One, remind me again why I can't kill him.
Drew: His daddy built the hospital.
Dr. Cox: Fair enough. All of you remain where you are for a moment. I'm going to punch through a wall.

Elliot: You all right?
Turk: It was a rough surgery. I don't think the guy's gonna make it.
Elliot: Oh, that stinks.
Turk: Yeah. This is when I really miss J.D. You know, at work, he'd see me like this and then try and pick me up. Then I'd point to that doctor over there and I'd say, "Who does that look like to you?" and he'd say...
Elliot: Who?
Turk: A Japanese Laura Dern. How do you not see that? I can't believe you get to see J.D. naked. That was weird.

Lucy: [v.o.] This morning was such a disaster. Maybe my problem is that I've been trying to do too much. Mm, I decided to do some optional shadowing of Dr. Cox to get my mind off it.
Lucy: Dr. Cox, may I ask you a question?
Dr. Cox: Do you see that shadow over there? Do you see how it's just quietly standing against the wall, not asking inane questionsthat make me crave the sweet taste a hollow-point bullet? That's you. A dumb, quiet shadow. Act like it.

Elliot: [on the phone] J.D., what's wrong? Yes, sweetie, Turk misses you, too. What? I don't- He's wearing scrubs. His green ones.

Elliot: Who are you and why are you following me around and staring at me?
Lucy: I'm Lucy. I'm a med student.
Lucy: [v.o.] Be cool, Lucy. Be cool.
Lucy: And I just have to say, you have the spirit of a noble warrior, which is not to say that you're not incredibly feminine, because clearly you are. I mean, you're, like, stupid, frickin' pregnant, but also so skinny. I mean, come on. You're like a snake that ate a tiny horse. [laughs] My point is, I'd like to get to know you better.
Elliot: Oh, so you're crazy.
Lucy: Oh, yeah.
Elliot: Oh, that's cool. I'm Dr. Elliot reid. See you later. Who's got food? Mama needs a refill! I'm dying here!

Turk: All right, class, we're looking for evidence of disease or abnormality.
Cole: Hey, Dr. T. I heard one time they opened up a dude's stomach, and there was a finger inside of it. I mean, think about it. You're in a lab, you're a little buzzed, everything's cool. Then all of a sudden your dead guy's flipping you the bird with another dude's finger. I mean, what?!

Denise: [to Cole] So, you and me? We're gonna have a stupid jar. Every time you say something stupid, we're gonna put a nickel in that jar. And when that jar gets nice and full, we're gonna take it and beat you with it. Okay?
Cole: Dude. How much fun is she in the sack?
Drew: More scary.

Drew: Look Cole, you gotta dial it down a bit. School newspaper's coming out next week, and they're publishing class rankings.
Cole: I thought you were already number one.
Drew: That's just with Dr. Cox. These are the real rankings. Everything counts: grades, participation, grunt work. Everyone sees.
Cole: Really?
Drew: Yeah.
Cole: Huh. Hey, it's all good. I don't mind if people know my rank. Okay, it's like going to the gym. When you blast it as hard as I do, you want people to notice. How much you think I bench?
Drew: I don't know, like-
Cole: I don't bench. I do high intensity reps. I'm toned as balls.

Denise: What's with the lame writing on your ass? Is it like a surgeon thing?
Turk: No, it's for pork chop day, an old tradition for me and J.D. We made special pants. His said "pork" on the back. That's actually why he had that little sexual harassment thingy.