Johnny: How about this tote bag? Two-ply toilet paper has more heft.
Moira: I'm sensing negativity, John. Is this because he did not take you up on your offer?
Johnny: Are you kidding me? Come on! Hey, I haven't even given that guy a second's thought since I got home.
I was doing him a favour, that's all. I don't want him tarnishing your reputation. I mean, have you read the literature? Look at this. "The maximum benefit of the peachification process." "Peachification!" Who uses a word like "peachification"? A moron would use that.

Moira: John, this commercial, in the right hands, could be I don't want to use the word "comeback," that's I don't wanna jinx it, but John, no one knows the business better than you do.
Johnny: Oh, honey, I'm just the money behind the scenes. Not that I don't have a few company commercials under my belt, but If you want me in your corner, I'm there.
Moira: Oh, John.
Johnny: Thank you. I'll do what I can.
Moira: Thank you.
Johnny: But seriously, how cheap ass is that bag?

Alexis: It's actually nice in here.
Mutt: Well, I'm not Valentino, but you know. Okay, well, don't try and be funny about it. It just happens naturally.
Alexis: It's that, um, when a guy can pack his whole wardrobe into an overnight bag, you just don't really think that he'd be much of an interior designer.

Johnny: What uh what kind of lens are we using here?
Director: It's, uh, it's a zoom lens.
Johnny: Oh, zoom! Good, good, good.
Director: Yup, yeah.
Johnny: Any primes? Any primes? Using any primes?
Director: Nah. Those are usually for feature films.
Johnny: Yeah. Yeah. No, it's just I- What's the, uh, ring light situation? Do you think we need an inkey?
Director: Uh, I don't know, I don't know. I-
Johnny: Are we booming this today?

Alexis: Ew!
David: Sssh!
Alexis: Why is it dark? It's like a witch's house in here, David.

David: Shush!
Alexis: What's going on?
David: I am on day two of a panic attack and I have not slept at all.
Alexis: Babe, you know that panic attacks aren't real, right? They're just things that celebrities make up to-
David: No, I know. I thought so too, but they are real and I'm having one apparently.

David: I don't wanna have to bring this up, but it's my turn to take a selfish.
Alexis: No, David,
David: Yes, it is.
Alexis: You selfished last time.
David: No. Dubai, 2010, I had to pick you up from that blind date that went terribly wrong. It was a total disaster. It's my turn, and I wanna go to a yoga class.

Alexis: Fine, I will go, but I am not happy about this at all.
David: Okay. Get off my bed.
Alexis: Ouch, David. Ouch, David!

Johnny: Whoa, whoa, cubby, what's this? Who ordered cheese?
Moira: I- I asked for cheese.
Johnny: Oh no, no. No cheese. I don't think that's a good idea. What about the melon? You ordered melon?
Moira: No, I didn't.
Johnny: No, well, let's see, you know what? Looks a little soft. Why don't we eighty-six that plate.

Twyla: Hey, you guys made it. Amazing. It's a pairs class, so partner up.
Alexis: Okay, well, I'm not touching you.
David: Well, I'm not touching you.