David: How did you even match with Miguel in the first place?
Alexis: I swiped right, obviously.

Johnny: I promise I'll make it up to you, Sweetheart.
Moira: Okay. As long as we're tabulating scores, this will mark the 3rd time you stood me up this week, John.

Alexis: Yeah, I mean I guess there isn't really anything standing in the way.
Twyla: So there you go.
Alexis: It's just that I used to date Ted, and now I'm gonna be dating this guy, and it's just gonna be weird, and I don't wanna do anything to upset Ted.
Twyla: So then maybe don't go on a date with this guy?
Alexis: It's just that there are like ten guys on here, and three of them are Ray.
Twyla: Yeah.

Johnny: Well, I thought about what you said, and I didn't wanna fall into old habits, so I delegated the rest of the cleaning to Roland.
Moira: Sweet gesture, but was that wise? No offence, Jocelyn.
Jocelyn: I was gonna ask him the same thing.

Johnny: And that frees us up for a little date night, uh, after you've finished rehearsing.
Twyla: Oh, where are you taking her?
Johnny: The cafe.
Ronnie: Ah! If that doesn't scream romance.

Jocelyn: Johnny, why don't you just come and join Ronnie? Oh, no, no, no!
Johnny: No, no, I haven't used the old pipes in so long, and I I wouldn't want to [singing] impo-o-o-ose [cheering]
Jocelyn: Somebody just nailed their audition.
Johnny: Oh, ha ha.
Ronnie: I've got perfect pitch, so do not mess this up for me.
Johnny: I understand.

David: So, Jake and his little pony are goin' on dates and having sexy honeymoon weekends?
Stevie: No, only sometimes, when it's necessary.
David: Hmm. So you're in love then. You're like falling in love with Jake.
Stevie: It's impossible to be in love with Jake, only Jake is in love with Jake. He's just really good at celebrating my body. So, I'm keepin' him around.

David: So, thank you for saving me from myself because one more day at that motel and I think things would've gotten very dark.
Stevie: Hm. No problem. Just put this on.
David: Okay I'm not playing into your fraudulent behaviour.
Stevie: You still want the free booze, right?
David: Gimme the ring. Can't believe I caught that.

Miguel: Alexis.
Alexis: Yes?
Miguel: Miguel.
Alexis: Oh my gosh, hey. Hi. I didn't recognize you without your nipples.
Miguel: Huh?
Alexis: The puppies. The, um, the cute little puppies that you love to photograph yourself with.
Miguel: Ha ha, yeah, yeah, I left them at home. The puppies. Brought the nipples.
Alexis: Oh good. Not about the nipples, um, about the puppies.

Miguel: I'm just really glad we could make this work. Champagne?
Alexis: Uh, they serve champagne here?
Miguel: I believe it's called Zhampagne, it's from the very famous Zhampagne region of France.
Alexis: Can't wait to try it.