Moira: There was a time when this dusky charmer used to constantly whisk me off to ports unknown.

Jocelyn: Actually Johnny, Ronnie could always use another baritone, why don't you join us?
Johnny: Oh, no. No, I'm just here to show support. So, as you were.
Moira: Oh, my husband, the portrait of self-effacement. You should all know that this man's voice melted more than a few hearts.

Twyla: Ah, Mrs. Rose, I didn't know there were two singers in the family.
Moira: Well, professionally speaking there's still only one. But I do applaud the vigour with which you embrace recreational activities such as this, Mr. Rose.
Johnny: Well, anything to spend a little more time with my special little songbird.
Moira: Ooh. Okay ladies, if you don't mind, I'm going to allow my husband to steal me away, for a modest repast across the avenue.

Alexis: I used to date Ted.
Miguel: I'm sorry?
Alexis: Ted Mullins? He's the veterinarian.
Miguel: No, no, no, I know who Ted is.
Alexis: Okay cool, I just felt like we were being honest with each other.
Miguel: Wait, weren't you his receptionist?
Alexis: Executive Assistant. And yes, but only for like a minute.
Miguel: But you guys were engaged?
Alexis: Um, very briefly.
Miguel: Uh-huh.
Alexis: And just twice. And we've both moved on. He has a girlfriend now, and apparently they're like very serious.

Moira: I realize I take one thing for granted in this town.
Johnny: Oh, Moira.
Moira: My time with the Jazzagals.
Johnny: Ah.
Moira: As sad as it sounds, these rehearsals have become a tiny oasis in the echo-y canyon that I now call my social life. I don't know if you've noticed, John, but this transition has not been the easiest for me.
Johnny: I can't say that I have not noticed.
Moira: Aside from rehearsals, few things keep me going. My nightly sleeps, afternoon naps, and of course meals with my husband.
Johnny: And there will be more of those.
Moira: But John, I have so few pleasures, that if I start combining them, then I'll have even less to look forward to.

David: This would be a really sweet moment, if what we had just admitted to each other wasn't so sad.
Stevie: Sadder? When you were in the bathroom, I finished the rest of the lover's curry.
David: Okay, you'll be sleeping in the bathtub tonight.
Stevie: I understand.

Johnny: Well, honey, I don't think you should let one embarrassing encounter colour your experience, on Bumper.
Alexis: Bump-kin.
Moira: So you upload your photo, and The Bumpkin sends it to local singles.
Alexis: It's not called The Bumpkin.
Moira: Okay. Oh, here's one. Isaac, 31, works on his family's farm. Certainly loves to take pictures of himself in waterfalls. Though harvesting crops does produce a nicely-sculpted physique.

Alexis: Okay, gimme my phone.
Johnny: Oh, Alexis, look, you've just Bumpkined with Jebediah.
Alexis: What? Ew!
Johnny: Oh, and now we're back to Ray.
Alexis: Ew!
Moira: How did Ray get such a beautiful bathroom?

David: Oh my god, Alexis, I am suffering romantically right now, and there was a minute when I thought I would never have to look at another dating app, and here you are shoving Bumpkins in my face.
Alexis: It's Bumpkin with a wink emoji.

David: What's "bumpkin"?
Alexis: What? Nothing. Gimme that.
David: Oh, my God, is this a dating app?
Alexis: It's an online social hub for rural singles, if you must know, David. I signed Twyla up.
David: Well, why does it say Alexis you have a new match?
Alexis: Research. I was testing the water for her, David. Poor thing's clueless.