Patrick: I have to say, David, I'm a little shocked that you agreed to do this. I know how fearful you are of heights.
David: Hmm. Well, "fearful" makes me sound like some Dickensian orphan with a chronic illness. It's more an aversion.

Moira: Nothing is a sure thing. Which is why you should look at every opportunity as a pearl in an un-shucked oyster.
Blair: I would hardly call this an opportunity!
Moira: I-I worked in soaps. They had me play my own father, who then became pregnant despite the vasectomy. I still hold the record for the longest-running demonic possession on daytime television.
Blair: Okay, what's your point?
Moira: We were number one. Every project has potential. If you allow yourself to see it, and give it the respect it deserves, others just may follow suit.
Blair: Yeah, I really wouldn't know where to start with this one.
Moira: Hmm. Well, here are my revisions. If you care to discuss them, I'll be running lines in the nest.

Twyla: Just so you're aware, Mr. Rose, the special is cream of mushroom soup. We don't actually have to-go containers for that, so I've just double-bagged it. Would you like a spoon or a straw?

Alexis: David, you look so cute under there! Like a tiny toadstool man, or a little acorn person, or something.

Patrick: You can do this, David! Just one step at a time!
Ted: You're looking pretty shaky there, David. I really hope we didn't "rope" you into something here.

Blair: There's a problem with the script?
Moira: Well, just a few character adjustments.
Blair: [laughs] I'm kidding. The script's a total dumpster fire, of course.
Moira: Hah! If the script were garbage, I don't believe we'd have signed on.
Blair: It's an apocalyptic fantasy about mutant crows. I think we all know what we're making here.
Moira: A timely allegory about prejudice.

Blair: My last picture was a $50 million dollar studio project. I think it's safe to say that this is not that.
Moira: And what exactly is this to you, then?
Blair: A trip to Bora Bora.
Moira: I see. Bora Bora. Caroline Kennedy once called it the Atlantic City of French Polynesia.

Blair: Okay, I told the producers I would approve background on set.
Moira: Oh! And I shall tell them the same. You must be Blair. No last name. Doctor Clara Beatrice Mandrake at your service. Middle name wasn't scripted, but I've done my homework.
Blair: Okay. So, you're Rose, then?
Moira: Moira Rose. And I see what's happening here. Break me down just to build me up again! Like Stan Kubrick did to Shelley.

Moira: [on the phone] Oh, John, I'm afraid I've made a grave error in judgment.
Johnny: Oh, sweetheart, I told you not to drink the tap water.
Moira: If only! At this moment an intestinal bacteria would wreak less havoc on my career!
Johnny: Well, I don't understand.
Moira: Everything was fine two hours ago. John, you know me, I'm never one to complain. I didn't bat an eye when I found out my accommodation here was in actuality a small "Bed or Breakfast." They feed me at work, I'll take the bed.
Johnny: [on the phone] So then what's the problem?
Moira: Our director appears to be on a kamikaze mission to sink this ship, and I refuse to be the goddess on its prow!

Johnny: [on the phone] Well, if you're not enjoying yourself anymore sweetheart, then coming home is always an option. I mean, you must be missing your family.
Moira: Oh, thank you, John, but that's not it. This was supposed to be my comeback vehicle, and opportunities like this come along ever so infrequently.
Johnny: Well, Moira, I feel the answer is right in front of you. This isn't some rinky-dink made-for-TV movie, or a voice gig for an X-rated Japanese video game.
Moira: That- That was rated "M" for "Mature," John.
Johnny: All I'm saying is you have an opportunity here. And if you want it bad enough, you've gotta fight for it.
Moira: You're right. You're right! If Sandy Bullock hadn't fought to keep the Speed Franchise alive, we never would've had "Cruise Control". John, thank you. I would be lost without you. [kiss sound, call beeps off]
Johnny: Me too.