David Quote #502

Quote from David in The Job Interview

David: Yeah, hi, Carol? Uh, it's just that some of us drove some of the other applicants here, so it might just be easier if we all just moved forward into the next round.
Carol: I think it's best if you wait in the hall.
David: Okay. I'll be taking some of these complimentary peanuts then.
Carol: Oh, as I pointed out, nothing is complimentary on Larry Air.
David: I'm taking the peanuts, Carol!

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 ‘The Job Interview’ Quotes

Quote from Moira

Moira: Alexis! Your father and I are going to meet for a celebratory lunch when he's done at the bank, and... I was supposed to invite you to join us.
Alexis: Yeah, I'm a little busy.
Moira: What in God's name do you have there? Please tell me it's not a Testudine.
Alexis: No, it's a turtle.
Moira: Alexis! Turtles do not pets make. The poor things are riddled with a myriad of diseases. You may as well tie a leash around a raw chicken cutlet.

Quote from Twyla

Twyla: My mom had a turtle dove that was eaten by her ex-fiancé's snake. That was a bad sign.
Alexis: Oh my God.
Twyla: And it happened on Valentine's Day.
Alexis: Mm.
Twyla: And her fiancé was a Satanist.

Quote from Ted

Alexis: Well, I guess if this is what you look like after finding some gross fly, I can forgive you for being away for so long.
Ted: [on Skype] I've actually been bench pressing 100-pound tortoises because there's no gym here.
Alexis: Ted! Stop making me jealous of turtles.
Ted: Tortoises, but I do have "tur-tell" you that I've been thinking about you, a lot, especially at nighttime.