Roland Quote #115

Quote from Roland in Grad Night

Johnny: Roland, I've been waiting here all night for Damien Steele. It's David's birthday, Alexis is graduating.
Roland: See, Johnny, the mayor of this town can't use his real name to check into a love motel.
Johnny: Yeah, it's not a love motel, Roland.
Roland: Oh, it will be tonight, my friend. See, Jocelyn and I have a yearly tradition. Every grad night we like to pretend to be other people, if you know what I mean.
Johnny: Yeah, you just told me what you mean.
Roland: Oh, we've been doing this ever since our own grad night. If you catch my drift.
Johnny: Yeah, I caught your drift when you told me what you mean.
Roland: So when Jos shows up and she says her name is Lisa Meriweather, just roll with it, okay?
Johnny: Here is your key, Roland.
Roland: Okay. Damien.

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 ‘Grad Night’ Quotes

Quote from Moira

Moira: We're all pitching in these days, dear. Like communists or non-union actors.

Quote from Patrick

David: This is the first gift I haven't bought myself in a very long time. So, thank you.
Patrick: You're gonna be so underwhelmed when you open it. Trust me. It's not- See. It's nothing.
Stevie: What is it?
Patrick: Uh, it's just the, um, receipt from our first sale at the store.
David: Um, this is not nothing. So, thank you.

 Roland Schitt Quotes

Quote from Honeymoon

Roland: My son lives in a barn in the woods, by choice. He could be the next mayor of this town if he wanted it.
Johnny: My son is pansexual.
Roland: Mm-hmm, I've heard of that. I know what that is. That's, uh, that cookware fetish.
Johnny: No.
Roland: Mm-hmm!
Johnny: No, no.
Roland: No, I read about that.
Johnny: No. He loves everyone. Men, women, women who become men, men who become women. I'm his father, and I always wanted his life to be easy. But, you know, just pick one gender, and maybe, maybe everything would've been less confusing.
Roland: Well, you know, Johnny, when it comes to matters of the heart, we can't tell our kids who to love. Who said that?
Johnny: You did.

Quote from The Motel Guest

Johnny: You didn't hear us last night?
Roland: Nope.
Johnny: Banging away?
Roland: Now, whatever you and the missus do after hours, that's your business, not mine.
Johnny: On the walls, Roland, with our fists!
Roland: And if you're into that kind of stuff, that doesn't bother me at all.