Bob: Roland, he told me about your back and I- I am so sorry.
Johnny: Well, well, I'm the one who's sorry, Bob. You know, hearing about your, uh, brother C-C-Chris-
Bob: Carl.
Johnny: Carl. Yeah, he was a good man. A good man.
Bob: He admired you, Johnny.
Johnny: And I him. Yeah. And I him.

Bob: Listen, uh, I understand about your back. And I was just, uh- Just wondering if, uh, maybe you could say a few words at the funeral?
Johnny: Well, the thing, uh, the thing is, uh, Bob, I-I-I don't feel I deserve that honour.
Bob: Oh, see, I'm, uh, I'm no good at these things. You know, you, you're- You're polished. You know, you're- You're well-spoken.
Johnny: Oh, no. No, no. Not really. Not really. I mean, I'm good one on one, but not- Not good in a public situation. I clam up pret-pretty good.
Bob: As a favor, Johnny.
Johnny: He must have had a few close friends, somebody that-
Bob: No one.
Johnny: Well, sure. Sure. I can say a few words, Bob. I'll say a few words.

Ted: Well, Macy and Fifer are just staying with me for a couple of weeks until they get back on their feet. Isn't that right, Fifey? Yeah, your worms are almost all gone, aren't they? Yeah.
Alexis: Is that a diaper on that little cutie?
Ted: Yup.

Moira: John, you're speaking at the funeral?
Johnny: The man was weeping. What was I supposed to do?
Moira: You take his hands in yours, you look him in the eye, and say, "no."

Alexis: God, I love this bed. I'm so glad you're not my brother.
Ted: Yeah, yeah, I'm pretty glad about that too. But let me assure you, tonight it is just you and me.

Alexis: Okay, the the big one is sniffing the diaper. Does does that mean it's full?
Ted: Okay.
Alexis: What is...?
Ted: Okay, you guys, just give us a little bit of time here and then you can come sleep with us, okay? Okay? Okay, where were we? [Dogs bark]

David: Oh, my God!
Stevie: I am so sorry. They got me... They got me wasted.
David: Mm-hmm.
Stevie: I hate them, okay? I hate them so much.
David: You smell very flammable right now.

David: Um, is this your thong or...?
Stevie: Yeah, no. Bree's a real classy girl. Uh, his was wrapped around the remote. Don't worry, I threw out the remote.

David: Hmm. Well, it looks like they have a side hustle.
Stevie: Uh, I'm pretty sure she strips. Why?
David: Oh no, this is just a lot of um...
Stevie: Yes, it is.
David: Marijuana.
Stevie: And if you're offering, my answer is yes.

Minister: Thank you for that, Shannon. Nothing says we'll miss you like an excerpt from "Breaking Dawn," one of Carl's favourites of the Twilight movies.