Leslie Knope: This is our thermometer! I'm trying to turn a giant dirt pit into a community park. But I need $35,000, and the city doesn't have enough money in its budget.
Raul: I do not understand.
Leslie Knope: You've never had a budget shortage? [all laugh]
Elvis: No.
Raul: Venezuela is blessed with massive oil reserves. Massive, I mean, tremendous, like, you would not believe.
Leslie Knope: Hmm.
Raul: The state sells the oil, and keeps all the money, and we build whatever we want.
Leslie Knope: Wow, well. Now, I do not understand. [laughs]
Raul: I feel my English was very clear. Shall I repeat? Venezuela, Venezuela, my country, has a lot of oil. Oil is food for cars.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: The Venezuelans are a very confident people.

Leslie Knope: Okay, look, I know these guys didn't turn out to be exactly how we thought they would be.
Tom: You said they might not know what toilet paper is.
Leslie Knope: I'm calling an audible. We can't be humble anymore. What we're gonna do is, we're gonna take them to our best park and we're gonna blow their socks off.
April: Yeah, I don't think that's gonna blow their socks off.
Leslie Knope: Fine, we'll go further. We'll take them to Chicago and pretend it's part of Pawnee. Or New York. Or London! No, wait, the money's different there. They'll figure it out. Okay, never mind. We'll go to the park.

Leslie Knope: Everybody doing okay back there? Comfortable? Well, the motel we're putting you up in is really nice. You can watch TBS. Do you have TBS in Venezuela?
Raul: I have everything in Venezuela. I have four satellite dishes on my estate. We get 14,000 channels. Fourteen thousand. I already know who wins Project Runway.
Leslie Knope: [chuckles] Wow. I'm coming over to your house then.
Raul: I see what you're getting at, but no, thank you. I am still primarily interested in the large black woman.

Leslie Knope: Here we are! Take it in, boys.
Raul: This is an embarrassment to America.
Leslie Knope: I'm sorry?
Raul: You are right to want to correct this.
Leslie Knope: Correct what?
Raul: This is the giant pit of dirt you were telling us about, is it not? The one you want to turn into a park?
Leslie Knope: No, no. This is already a park. And it's one of our best-loved parks.
Elvis: Why are the trees so small?
Leslie Knope: They're not that small. Besides, size doesn't matter.
Raul: Yes, it does. Our trees are huge. We build tunnels through them.

Jhonny: [Spanish: Do you want to go for a walk with me?]
April: No.
Jhonny: [Spanish: Do you want to climb a tree with me?]
April: No.
Jhonny: [Spanish: Are you married?]
April: [Spanish: I have a boyfriend. Kind of.]
Jhonny: [Spanish: I will kill him.]

Leslie Knope: So, are you guys ready? We're about to start.
Elvis: This is where you have your meetings?
Leslie Knope: Well, the location rotates. Sometimes we have them on the volleyball courts. Where do you hold your meetings?
Raul: Well, now that you ask, we usually rotate as well between different fortresses and citadels, and palaces.
Leslie Knope: Hmm. We don't need palaces. The ideas are what shine in our meetings.

Leslie Knope: Look, those guys were rude, arrogant, narrow-minded, class-A jerks. Now, I may have lost my cool, but they deserved it.
Ron Swanson: Okay. I'll call the mayor and cancel the photo-op.
Leslie Knope: No! Don't do that!
Ron Swanson: Okay. Then call the Venezuelans and apologize.
Leslie Knope: No, they were rude, arrogant, narrow-minded, class-A jerks!
Ron Swanson: Okay. Then I'll call the mayor and cancel the photo-op.
Leslie Knope: No!
Ron Swanson: Do you see the problem here?
Leslie Knope: Yes! But I don't want to!

Leslie Knope: Well, Raul, gentlemen, thank you for coming. Well, I would just like to first say, I am so sorry for blowing up yesterday. It was completely uncalled for.
Raul: Well, we are sorry as well. We were very tired from our long journey.
Elvis: Also, we were a bit jealous. Our colleagues from Caracas are visiting their sister city of Miami.
Raul: Yeah. They've been partying with Dwyane Wade. They sent us all these photos and QuickTime files. I mean, you have to see this place Miami. Just gorgeous, everything. There's so much soul and life everywhere! Every little tiny street, so much culture, and history! And the cars! People really take care of their cars there.
Elvis: I noticed that in the photos.
Raul: Clean and shiny. You notice that and they're a little older, but still just beautiful. Really, really nice. And the food, so spicy and wonderful. We could not even believe it. But Pawnee is really good as well.
Elvis: Yes.
Raul: In any case, I made a few phone calls, and the government of Venezuela has authorized a special gift for you. [slides over check]
Leslie Knope: $35,000?
Raul: Yes, it is to fill your pit to start to build a park.
Leslie Knope: No, no, we can't take this.
Raul: Yes, yes, yes. Please. We will see you later today at the photo-opportunity. And I think we're good here.

Leslie Knope: Ugh, I don't know. Maybe I should return the money. It's from a foreign government, I don't really trust these guys. I'm gonna return the money.
Tom: Are you crazy? You could buy a low-end Lexus with that money.
Ann: Or, you could build a park with that money.
Leslie Knope: Let's look at the pros and cons.
Ann: Pro, we could fill in the pit and build a park.
Leslie Knope: Con, we might be filling it in with dirty money.
Tom: Pro, $35,000 worth of dirty money.
Leslie Knope: Con, not quite sure why that's a pro.
Mark: Pro, we can fill in the pit.
Leslie Knope: Con, Ann already said that. Pro and con never works!
Tom: Pro, yes it does.

Jhonny: [Spanish: Why did you not return my calls last night?]
April: [Spanish: Because I didn't want to.]
Jhonny: [Spanish: I sent a car to your house. It never came back.]
April: [Spanish: I know. Me and my friends took it to a movie.]
Jhonny: [Spanish: You drive me crazy. Come away with me. You will live like a princess. I am only an intern, so my estate is not as big as those of my superiors. I must have you please.]
April: No.