Leslie Knope: Wow, what part of Denmark are you from?
Ulee Danssen: I'm from Silkeborg. You know. It's not one of the most perfect places in the world, but I love it, and it loves me. And look what they've done for me.
Leslie Knope: They made a statue of you!
Ulee Danssen: Yes.
Leslie Knope: Wow. Is that goat cheese?
Ulee Danssen: Good cheese eye, Leslie. It is made out of goat cheese. We have a lot of it, and after tonight's event, they're going to consume me with crackers.

April: So you're from Mongolia?
Khongordzol: [Mongolian: "Yes."]
April: Will you take me with you when you go back there?
Khongordzol: [Mongolian: "No."]
April: I love you.
Khongordzol: Hmm.
April: Did you understand that? Did you bring any wolverines?

April: Do you like the Lord Fancyface Guy?
Andy: Oh, he's awesome. He's everything you would want in a boss. I mean, remote control helicopters, talks funny. Total package.
April: I think you should do it. When are you gonna have another opportunity like this? I mean-- And, plus, we can deal with the distance, okay? Remember, I was in Washington last year.
Andy: He said he wanted me to head up the company. I have no idea how to run a nonprofit.
April: Hey. You shined shoes for over two years and never made a profit. Come on, you can hack this. I believe in you. But to replace you, I am going to have to build a scarecrow replica of you and take it to the movies.
Andy: Seems like the only logical solution. [they kiss]

Tom: So... now you know the truth. Will you back off?
Dr. Saperstein: No, I will not stop. Yes, this all started as vengeance for my children, but the company is making money now. Why would I back off just 'cause these nincompoops lie to me all the time? No, I'm not gonna back off. I'm gonna continue, and I'm gonna crush you!

Chris: My point is, Ethel, that Ann's pregnant. And I'm the baby daddy!
Ethel Beavers: How wonderful for you.
Chris: You don't seem very excited for us.
Ethel Beavers: I barely know you, and I don't have to talk to you unless it's about work.
Ann: Man, I thought this would be more satisfying.
Chris: I agree. Wait a minute, what time is it? Has she landed yet?

Leslie Knope: Hey, Gretel! Hello, it's me, City Councilwoman Leslie Knope.
April: And me, Odie the dog, Garfield's enemy.
Leslie Knope: Now, we have some great news: we were in London, and we met a wonderful woman from Mongolia.
April: Yeah, her name was Khongordzol, and I love her more than anything in the world.
Leslie Knope: Khongordzol and... Odie, here, were emailing, and she recommended a very humane way to get rid of slugs. You sprinkle coffee grounds on the affected area, and it drives the slugs away. Isn't that great?
Gretel: I didn't want all the slugs gone. I wanted most of them gone!
Leslie Knope: Sorry. Well, we'll put one slug back. Either way, your problem is solved.

April: Oh, my God, that lady is the worst. She didn't even say thank you.
Leslie Knope: That's not why we do this, April. We do it because it's good and it helps people, not to get the applause.
April: Yeah, but doesn't that bum you out?
Leslie Knope: Well, sure, it would be nice if just one person appreciated my work, at all. But that's the job. Wiping slime and shoveling slugs. All right. On to the next complaint.

Ann: It's just weird, you know? I mean, for so long, this little green olive was just our thing, and now it's everyone's thing. Every time Jerry looks at me, he's thinking about... the milk in my boobs.
Chris: It's still just our thing. It'll always be just our thing. That's why it's so wonderful and why we'll love it so much.
Ann: You know, Olive's kind of a cute name, if it's a girl.
Chris: I prefer "Chickpea."
Ann: Because it's lower in sodium?
Chris: Yes, exactly.

Ben: Nice to be home.
Leslie Knope: It is. But I mean, I love Pawnee, I will always love Pawnee, but London is amazing. And Silkeborg sounds amazing, and Mongolia sounds amazing.
Ben: Their mayor is a professional wolverine Wrangler.
Leslie Knope: Fine, Mongolia sounds terrifying, but the world is a very big place, and I've seen very little of it. Maybe we should travel more, expand our horizons.
Ben: You know, I've had the same kinds of thoughts. We should keep that in mind, see where it leads us.

Leslie Knope: I got you something in London: a traditional barrister's wig.
Ben: Oh.
Leslie Knope: Wear it for me.
Ben: Yeah?
Leslie Knope: Mm-hmm.
Ben: All right. [seductively] What's up?
Leslie Knope: No, not sexy. Failed experiment. Take it off.
Ben: Okay, just--okay.
Leslie Knope: Just take it off. No.