Jess: Do I look pretty? [both laughing] Do you feel, like, really good right now?
Cece: Yes! I thought I was crazy.
Jess: No, you're not crazy. I think I... I think I wanted to punch you for a really long time.
Cece: Felt that way.
Jess: Like, maybe ten or 15 years.
Cece: And it feels so good that right now we don't have to talk everything through.
Jess: Yeah. We can just punch it out.
Cece: Oh, my God, I have missed you. [both laughing]
Jess: I can't believe I've known you 20 years. And you're still my favorite person to talk to.
Cece: And you're my favorite person to talk to. I hate not talking to you. I feel like I've missed everything!
Jess: You did miss everything.

Winston: [on the phone] Tell me everything.
Nick: Winston, she's rich! Yeah, she founded some company that sells fancy water bottles to rich people to pay for digging wells in Africa. She sold the company, so now she works whenever she wants. It's a scam called consulting.
Winston: You see, I knew it. I knew there was something weird. I was right!
Nick: You were wrong about literally everything.
Winston: But I knew there was gonna be a twist, though.
Nick: Okay, do you realize how much time you've wasted, and you're not studying?
Winston: Sweet Baby LeBron James, I screwed up.

Nick: Hey, I should probably get going. I got to get to work. Yeah, it's karaoke night, so I got to get there early enough to break the karaoke machine.
Kai: How much will you make tonight?
Nick: Ah, it depends how much I drink, but probably about 140 bucks. [Kai lays money down] What is this?
Kai: I raise you to $200. Now you can stay.
Nick: Deal!
Kai: Oh. [laughs]
Nick: I'm like a boy hooker. [both laugh] Thank you.
Kai: Are you crying?
Nick: Don't look at me. I want to look pretty. You paid for it.

Schmidt: Nadia is the one who broke my thing.
Coach: Wait, you were serious about that?
Schmidt: Yes. That was her. I'm telling you. She's going to have to childproof the corners of her cha-cha before
that baby comes out. Oh, Cecilia. Thank goodness. Look at you. You're still pretty. And, Jess, you know, you-you look the same.

Schmidt: Oh, hey, Coach.
Coach: Aw, hey, you. That's nice.
Schmidt: Oh, this? I-I don't know. Thanks, I guess. I'm kind of whatever about it.
Coach: No.
Schmidt: What do you got there?
Coach: Oh, me? Uh, just some sneakers. [laughs] I hope they're okay. I don't have an eye for things like you.
Schmidt: Well, yeah, you do. Come on, don't be so hard on yourself.
Coach: Your eye is so good.
Schmidt: I'm sure they're great... Not that you could look bad in anything really. [laughs]
[Schmidt and Coach groan as Winston punches them in their nuts]
Schmidt: Thank you for that.
Coach: Yeah, thanks, man.
Winston: Anytime.
Coach: We cool?
Schmidt: Yeah, we cool.