New Girl - Coach Quote #60
Coach: I'm what?
Jess: We had to do budget cuts, and we have to let two people go, and you're my friend, and I couldn't stop it. I'm so sorry.
[The boys' basketball team runs in with a custom-made jacket for Coach]
Boy: We all pitched in.
Coach: Thanks, guys. I'm not coach anymore. I'm just Coach.
Quote from Nick
Bill Berklan: So, are you gonna sit, or?
Nick: No, I'm gonna stand. 'Cause isn't that what we are doing? Standing... for the little guy?
Schmidt: [quietly] What is the plan?
Nick: Injustice! [drops screws in Schmidt's hand] I will not stand for it. That is why I will sit right now. I will sit down in this chair... [puts feet on table, falls back] You're negligent! Aah! Get off me! My neck! My neck!
Bill Berklan: Seriously? The fall-down on the chair bit? Is this your first case?
Nick: Yes, it is. And that is why I'll file petition on petition. You're gonna wake up in the morning to paperwork. You're gonna go to bed at night to paperwork. So how about this, gentlemen? You pay the $20,000 settlement to your client yourself, and you'll never see our faces again. What do you call a lunatic who's only got one case and no hobbies? Your worst nightmare.
Quote from Winston
Schmidt: What are you doing here?
Nick: I'm representing you.
Bill Berklan: Everything all right?
Schmidt: I'm a bit caught off guard. I wasn't expecting these two very real lawyers to show up today.
Winston: Well, we wanted to let you know that the entire firm is standing behind you. Besides, whether I sit in my office or in here it's all billable. Am I right, gentlemen? [laughter]
Quote from Winston
Winston: And the jury will see that there is no justice for the Hebrew man. Not in these so-called United States.
Nick: What is that that you're doing?
Winston: I can't get enough of this legal drama. Check this out. Favorite author, Grisham. Favorite TV show, Judging Amy. Favorite color, courtroom brown. Courtroom Brown. Damn, I wish that was my nickname.
Nick: Did you just think of that? 'Cause it was perfect, man.
Winston: Courtroom Brown.
Quote from Dance
Coach: You three are the worst chaperones possible on earth. A dog would be better than you. A plant wearing underwear would be better than you. Ray Charles' ghost would be better than you! Wh- What kind of men are you?
Quote from Spiderhunt
Schmidt: Wait a minute, is your e-mail address [email protected]?
Coach: Yeah, man. Picked it in college. It's just gonna follow me from job to job, ISP to ISP. We've been everywhere together, brotha. Never done .org or a .gov. I would never do that.
Coach: But every other damn domain.
Schmidt: You can't e-mail a girl like May from an e-mail address like owwMeSoErnie. Although, you did got a job at a school, so what do I know?
Quote from Homecoming
Jess: God, it's a perfect fall New York day. I'm almost sorry we're leaving.
Coach: What the hell is going on? Were you not gonna call me? How long you been here?
Nick: We literally just got here.
Jess: Well, we were gonna go...
Schmidt: I had a, uh...
Coach: If I wasn't... If I didn't just run into you, you guys would have just been... The only reason I'm not pissed... it's because I've been in L.A. like five times. So... we're good. [all cheering] I've got other friends.