‘Bully’
Season 1, Episode 14 - Aired February 21, 2012
Jess tries to help a boy who is being bullied at school. Nick freaks out about his relationship with Julia after she sends him a cactus. Meanwhile, Schmidt realizes Cece is ashamed of him.
Quote from Nick
Nick: Hey, man, I'm going to the beach to watch the sun go down, 'cause I love sunsets. Did you know that about me?
Winston: What the hell is wrong with you?
Nick: Oh, Julia dumped me, so sad face. Hey, do you want to come with me to the beach? 'Cause I feel great, I'm ready to rock, but I really don't want to be alone.
Quote from Winston
Jess: Scissors? How am I supposed to fix a robot arm with scissors?
Winston: Those are my good scissors.
Jess: Why do you have good scissors?
Quote from Nick
Nick: You know, the news only focuses on what goes wrong. Never talks about what goes right. Evolution. You know? Yeah, exactly.
Jess: [to Winston] I'm gonna kill him. Can you get him out of here?
Nick: Hey, guys, you guys want to watch The Piano later?
Quote from Cece
Cece: Come on, Schmidt, stop being such a big baby.
Schmidt: Oh, my... Are you ashamed of me?
Cece: Yes. Absolutely. 100%. I'm 100% ashamed of you.
Schmidt: What- What a revelation.
Cece: Okay, come on, Schmidt, I can't be the first woman who's ashamed to be with you.
Schmidt: Okay, look, I won't go into your party, if... if you go to breakfast with me tomorrow. In public.
Cece: Yeah, okay.
Schmidt: Oh, really?
Cece: Really. I mean, I can survive breakfast.
Quote from Jess
Jess: I am so sorry, Tanya.
Tanya: Don't be. I love it! Jess, you're a real teacher now.
Jess: What?
Tanya: You're a kid hater. You're one of us. Come here. Welcome. [hugs Jess]
Jess: I'm-I'm not a kid hater.
Tanya: That's right. None of us are. [winks]
Quote from Jess
Jess: Hey, Brianna. Can I speak to you? Look, I know I'm not your favorite teacher. You don't like my style. That's fine. But I'm not gonna change who I am, so you're just gonna have to deal with it and respect it. Also, you're gonna take this paper, and you're gonna sing a duet with me.
Brianna: What?!
Jess: Oh, yeah. Everybody, settle down. Camera phones are encouraged.
Brianna: No.
Jess: One, two, three, four.
Quote from Jess
Jess: Hey. I got you a real plant.
Nick: Yeah, I don't want it, Jess; I'll just kill it.
Jess: I know. You're a plant killer. And I write songs. We're weirdos. But that's who we are. And that's fine. And you have a giant cactus needle sticking out of your face.
Quote from Jess
Nathaniel: Can I have lunch in here?
Jess: Oh, no, Nathaniel, what's wrong? In the cafeteria, kids have started playing this game, coin slot. They put pennies in my butt crack.
Nathaniel: I made 46 cents. [holds out coins]
Jess: No, no, no, you earned that.