Adrian Monk: Petya must be running late.
Natalie: Yeah, Mr. Monk, I've been doing a little research on your friend Petya. I Googled him. At least I tried to, and there's no record of him anywhere.
Adrian Monk: Natalie, people like Petya. Important people, wealthy people. They are un-Google-able.
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk, it doesn't work like that. It's not like an unlisted phone number.
Adrian Monk: Un-google-able! End of discussion.

Dr. Kroger: All right, all right, Adrian. Adrian, I understand. Now, you're feeling unfulfilled.
Adrian Monk: It's all the same. Crime scene, witness, suspect, question, answer.
Dr. Kroger: Okay, this- This is perfectly normal, Adrian. No job can completely satisfy anyone. There is more to life than just working.
Adrian Monk: I know that.
Dr. Kroger: Let me finish. Or cleaning.
Adrian Monk: Oh.

Dr. Kroger: Adrian, we only have an hour.
Adrian Monk: Ssh. Don't move. It's almost done.
Dr. Kroger: You know, while we have a moment, my assistant said that you did not bring a check today.
Adrian Monk: This should take care of it. That ought to cover us till June.
Dr. Kroger: Yes, well, thank you for this. I- I hope you're not insulted, but I think I'd rather have the check.

Dr. Kroger: Maybe you should take up a hobby.
Adrian Monk: A hobby?
Dr. Kroger: Yeah. Outside of work. A creative outlet to express yourself.
Adrian Monk: A hobby?
Dr. Kroger: Yes, a hobby. It's great therapy. You know, I recently took up ballroom dancing.
Adrian Monk: Good for you.
Dr. Kroger: Yeah, well. Unfortunately, Madeline, she doesn't love it as much as I do, so a lot of the time when I go to class, I don't have a partner.
Adrian Monk: I'm not gonna dance with you, Dr. Kroger. Don't. Don't make me dance with you, Dr. Kroger.
Dr. Kroger: No. No, Adrian, I am not suggesting-
Adrian Monk: I can't dance with you, Dr. Kroger.
Dr. Kroger: I didn't ask you to dance with me, Adrian. I was talking about a different hobby.
Adrian Monk: Not dancing.
Dr. Kroger: Not dancing! Not dancing.
Adrian Monk: Nothing personal.

Ms. Benson: People, don't look at the landscape, feel the landscape. Let the landscape speak to you. Yes! Angie, I love it. There's a wonderful negative energy. People, don't be afraid. Be fearless. You are an artist. You are fearless. There is no right or wrong here. [to Monk] I'm sorry, I've forgotten your name.
Adrian Monk: Adrian.
Ms. Benson: Adrian. Who told you you could draw?
Adrian Monk: Natalie.
Ms. Benson: What are those?
Adrian Monk: Oh, clouds. That's how I see it.
Ms. Benson: Well, you're seeing it wrong.
Adrian Monk: You said there was no right or wrong.
Ms. Benson: Well... Never say that again.

Natalie: Mr. Monk. Where's all my stuff?
Adrian Monk: Out back. It was distracting me.
Natalie: Well, what if it rains?
Adrian Monk: Then your stuff will get wet. Art requires a little sacrifice, Natalie.
Natalie: Wait, my curtains?
Adrian Monk: I took them down because I needed the light. Eastern light.

Adrian Monk: C'est finis. Take a look. What do you think?
Natalie: Well, the Captain's gonna love it.
Adrian Monk: Why?
Natalie: Well, it- It's him, right?
Adrian Monk: No. It's you!
Natalie: Me?! But, she- I have a moustache.
Adrian Monk: It's a shadow. Natalie, this is my masterpiece. Take it. I want you to have it. Wait. Wait wait. There. Now Julie can go to college.
Natalie: Mr. Monk, is- Is that really how you see me?
Adrian Monk: You're a beautiful woman.

Hector: [speaks Spanish]
Lieutenant Disher: Tuesday morning, he said he was here with Bennie, they found a table and a delicious bamboo salad.
Captain Stottlemeyer: A bamboo salad?
Lieutenant Disher: I think he's hiding something too.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I think you're hiding something.

Ms. Benson: [to Petya] I know you came here to see Adrian, but there's so much interesting work being done at the school. For example, over there. And, well, look. Here's one example. This is mine. I call it marriage.
Petya Lovak: No, no, I'm sorry, not even close.
Adrian Monk: The lines are all squiggly. You have to make them straighter. Try using a ruler.
Ms. Benson: A ruler?!

Adrian Monk: What was I thinking? I'm no artist.
Captain Stottlemeyer: You're no artist? Adrian Monk, you're a grand master. Leonardo de Vinci, or Pablo Picaso.
Adrian Monk: Just not with a paint brush.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Just not with a paint brush, that's for damn sure. Hey, how about stamp collector? That's a nice hobby. You get a little book, you put on the stamps in there, you line them all up.
Adrian Monk: Could arrange them by color it close.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yes, you could. You could arrange them any way you'd like. It's a hobby, after all.
Adrian Monk: They're all the same size?
Captain Stottlemeyer: If that's important to you, yes.