Natalie: How are we doing?
Adrian Monk: Look at them. Sad, really. I don't know who they're all trying to impress. [Natalie laughs] It's pathetic. They're pathetic. But we shouldn't laugh.
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk, it's you, look at you. Where did you get this? Oh, my gosh. And a beret?
Adrian Monk: Now- Now it's crooked, I can feel it.
Natalie: No, Mr. Monk, it's supposed to be crooked, here.
Adrian Monk: Stop it.
Natalie: That goes this way. Just a little.
Adrian Monk: Stop it, you're embarrassing me.
Natalie: Just a little.

Ms. Benson: Adrian Monk. My star student.
Adrian Monk: Ms. Benson. This is my friend, Natalie Teeger. Natalie was very supportive of me when I was... still struggling. Before I sold anything.
Ms. Benson: Yes, yes. Well, we've all heard about your success. It's the talk of the school. It's...
Adrian Monk: Quite extraordinary, yes, I know.

Adrian Monk: Snowman.
Petya Lovak: What is this? There's, like, tiny punctures here in the middle.
Adrian Monk: Yeah, I used a compass.
Petya Lovak: Yes. Of course. And I love it. I must have it. And I will take this too.
Adrian Monk: It's an egg in a nest.
Petya Lovak: Of course, it is an egg in a nest. So, together $4,000.
Adrian Monk: Okay.
Petya Lovak: Anything else?
Adrian Monk: Yes, I have some sketches.
Petya Lovak: No, no. I'm more interested in your paintings. That's where your genius lies.
Adrian Monk: I agree.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Was your uncle a professional painter?
Wendy Larson: No, it was just a hobby. He took it up late in life just a few years ago.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Was he any good?
Wendy Larson: I didn't think so, to be honest. But he did sell a lot of his paintings to a collector from Russia.
Captain Stottlemeyer: From Russia? Do you remember his name?
Wendy Larson: I never met him. But I think he bought all of them. Except for the last one. The one uncle Scott was working on when he died.
Lieutenant Disher: That's the one you put out by the curb?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Is this your uncle?
Wendy Larson: Yeah.
Captain Stottlemeyer: What does he have to do with Carson Paper?
Wendy Larson: He worked there for 30 years.
Lieutenant Disher: What's Carson Paper?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Carson Paper has a contract with the US Treasury. They make money. Or at least the paper it's printed on.

Ms. Benson: Adrian, congratulations. I must be honest. At first, I didn't appreciate your style but I see it now. You are deconstructing the aesthetic orthodoxy that most artists, myself included.
Adrian Monk: Where's Natalie?
Angie: She went home. She took her portrait with her, which I love, by the way. Just took me a while to get it.
Ms. Benson: Are you all right?
Adrian Monk: There was another painting in that van. I've seen it somewhere before. In the Junkyard. It was there Thursday, and the next day, it was gone. [looks at his drawings] God. These are awful.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk.
Adrian Monk: I'm terrible.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Monk. Where's your friend, the Russian?
Adrian Monk: What? What? He just left. What's going on?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I just spoke with the Secret Service. Lovak is with the Russian mob. They've been counterfeiting US Currency using real paper.
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah, a guy named Scott Larson. He used to work at the US Mint. He's been smuggling paper out of the factory for years. Guess how they're getting it past customs.
Adrian Monk: Canvases?
Lieutenant Disher: And they're not real canvases. It's eight or nine layers of currency paper.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Larson used acrylic paint, it peels right off. They were worth a fortune.
Adrian Monk: So, it was all about the canvases? He didn't care what was on them.
Angie: I knew it had to be something.
Ms. Benson: He really does suck!
Lieutenant Disher: Monk, did he take all the canvases?
Adrian Monk: Except for one. Natalie.

Petya Lovak: Miss Teeger.
Natalie: Mr. Lovak, I already told you. I'm not interested.
Petya Lovak: You know what I like about you? You are a tough cookie. My final offer. An additional thousand dollars. All together, $3,500. What do you say?
Natalie: Look, I can't. It was a gift from my boss. I can't.
Petya Lovak: Well, obviously, you don't care about it. You have it hiding in the corner behind a big bush. I understand, you're embarrassed about it, right? So let me help you take it off of your shoulders.
Natalie: Look, I can't. It would hurt his feelings.
Petya Lovak: [pulls out a knife] Look here, Miss Teeger. I'm going to take that painting whether you sell it to me or not.
Natalie: You really like it.
Petya Lovak: I hate it. It is an abomination. It's horrible. Nonetheless, I'm gonna leave with that painting. And you're gonna stand there very still.

Lieutenant Disher: Natalie, what are you doing? What are you doing?! It's evidence! Secret Service are on their way. It's the only painting we have left. It's gonna be exhibit A.
Natalie: Exhibit A?
Lieutenant Disher: Yeah. It's big news, Natalie. It's gonna be one of the famous painting in the world.
Natalie: You're right. You're right, I am sorry. Burn it! Burn it!