Julian Hodge: You, what do you think?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I like it.
Julian Hodge: You like it? What's that supposed to mean? Say you love it or say you hate it. Anything in between is pointless. [to his assistant] Wet One, Wet One, Wet One. Come on. Thank you.

Julian Hodge: You, blue shirt. Are you here to audition?
Lieutenant Disher: Me? No.
Julian Hodge: You may want consider it. I like your attitude.

Julian Hodge: If you're gonna rob me, you should bring a gun.
Natalie: Pardon me?
Julian Hodge: The blouse. It's a knock-off of one of my designs.
Natalie: Oh, it is? I didn't know.
Julian Hodge: Of course, that's not the real crime. The real crime is how you look in it.

Julian Hodge: Ah. Yes, yes, you're perfect. What's your name?
Woman: Sarah.
Julian Hodge: Sarah. Heaven must be missing one of its angels.
Adrian Monk: Excuse me. Sorry.
Julian Hodge: What?
Adrian Monk: Well, it's nothing. It's just... One of those eyebrows aren't gonna look so good on the cover.
Julian Hodge: Which one?
Adrian Monk: Well, the left one's higher than the right one, isn't it?
Julian Hodge: Oh. This eyebrow is a little bit lower than that one. Uh. Maybe next time, Sarah. Yeah.
Adrian Monk: Thanks for coming in.

Adrian Monk: You have something on your shoulder.
Natasia Zorelle: Oh, it's a mole. It's my trademark.
Adrian Monk: Did you know Pablo Ortiz?
Natasia Zorelle: I didn't know him. Except that Clea was terrified of him. He was stalking her.
Adrian Monk: Yes. There's no evidence of that. No phonecalls. No other moles. I mean witnesses. No other witnesses.
Natasia Zorelle: Are you saying I made it all up?
Adrian Monk: Um...
Natasia Zorelle: Why would I do that?
Adrian Monk: I don't know.
Natasia Zorelle: Look, I saw what I saw. He brought her flowers. He hit on her. I already testified about all this a year ago.
Adrian Monk: I read your statement.
Natasia Zorelle: Then read it again. [Monk tries to draw on her shoulder] What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: If you put one on this side, you know, you'd be perfect. Your career would...

Captain Stottlemeyer: How'd it go?
Lieutenant Disher: She's hot.
Adrian Monk: She's mildly irritated. Give her a minute, she'll calm down.

Julian Hodge: I want you to model for me. You can be in the show on Thursday night. Hmm. You know, you could be a big star. Great and wonderful things.
Julie Teeger: Oh, my God.
Natalie: No, she's 13 years old.
Julian Hodge: Well, I've had models younger than that. Thirteen? She's practically middle-aged.
Natalie: Thank you, I don't think so.
Julian Hodge: Anyway, it's not up to you. This is between Julie and her biological mother.
Natalie: I am her biological mother.
Julian Hodge: Oh.

Natalie: I told you, not until you're 18.
Julie Teeger: Mom, when I'm 18, it'll be too late. I really wanna do this.
Natalie: You know, a lot of these girls have serious problems, okay? Drugs and eating disorders.
Julie Teeger: It's just one show. And if you're right and I hate it, I'll quit. But at least I'll have tried. You always tell me to try new things.
Natalie: Forget modeling, you should be a lawyer.

Gordo: She probably got depressed after you spoke to her. All those memories about the murder bubbling up.
Adrian Monk: I don't think so. There's one set of fingerprints on the glass.
Gordo: Yeah, they're hers.
Adrian Monk: But look, she's wearing lipstick. There's no lipstick on the glass. Somebody wiped down the glass and then put it back in her hand.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Okay, this is now a homicide investigation. Lock this joint down. Nobody touches anything. Fabio, go and borrow a notebook, and borrow a pencil and start talking to neighbors.

Adrian Monk: Natalie. Do you have the case file?
Natalie: What?
Adrian Monk: The case file. Give it to me. I knew something was wrong. Look. Look at this. Her body, it's all contorted. The collar, and her buttons are perfectly straight. After he killed her, he straightened them out. He couldn't help himself. He's the guy.
Natalie: Who's the guy? [Monk looks at Julian Hodge] Julie. We have to go right now.
Julie Teeger: Why?
Natalie: I can't tell you now. Not here.
Julie Teeger: But, mom.
Natalie: Do not argue with me. Get your stuff now.