Jack Whitman: Who's hungry? I have homemade lasagna. A little fuel to keep us going. Mr. Monk, are you hungry? An army marches on its stomach.
Adrian Monk: Oh, no. No, thank you.
Jack Whitman: Herr General, eat. Keep your strength up. You've got a big debate tomorrow.
Lieutenant Disher: Excuse me. I think I'd better try this. A little too much oregano, but it's not poison.
Jack Whitman: That's what every cook likes to hear. Ahem, listen, Natalie, do you want me to get this copier out of here? I could take it to the junkyard for you. I got a buddy with a truck.
Natalie: Thank you, Jack, but I got the repair guy comin' back tomorrow to check it out. Besides, it makes a hell of a buffet, right?

Adrian Monk: Natalie, do you still have the poster Julie made? The one that was above the door?
Natalie: Yeah, I think it's behind those boxes.
Adrian Monk: It was missing an "R." I found it over there.
Natalie: Oh, It must've fallen off when she was putting it up.
Adrian Monk: The sniper didn't know her name. That's why he misspelled it. So, all he knew was what he saw on this poster.
Lieutenant Disher: What does it mean?
Adrian Monk: Well, it means, the note he left was just a diversion. This wasn't about you at all.

Adrian Monk: Hello, welcome to the debate. I'll be your moderator. Who has the first question? Lieutenant.
Lieutenant Disher: Miss Teeger, "Why should the entire community pay to keep Ashton Junior High open?"
Adrian Monk: Miss Teeger, you have 30 seconds.
Natalie: That's a very good question. It's true that closing Ashton Junior High would save the taxpayers money. But it would cost $1.20- What are you doing?
Adrian Monk: 22. I don't have a stopwatch. 20... 19...
Natalie: Mr. Monk, I can't concentrate.
Adrian Monk: 17... 16...
Natalie: Which would more than offset... Please stop. Just stop counting! Thank you. Could you repeat the question?
Lieutenant Disher: Miss Teeger.
Adrian Monk: [bell rings] Time's up.

Adrian Monk: Captain, that grenade had Russian markings.
Captain Stottlemeyer: I know. We found a piece of it. It was made in Chechnya. This guy must be very well connected. Whoever he is, you must be making him nervous.
Adrian Monk: How's Natalie?
Captain Stottlemeyer: She's fine. But you got to talk to her, Monk. She still won't quit. Even after this.

Captain Stottlemeyer: Don't you ever get tired of being right?
Adrian Monk: I do feel tired. More fatigued, really. I don't know if it's from being right...
Captain Stottlemeyer: It was a rhetorical question, Monk.

Captain Stottlemeyer: You could be on to something here. Jack Whitman. He's been sent up twice. First time for mail fraud and receiving stolen property. Lately, he's been importing rugs.
Adrian Monk: Rugs?
Captain Stottlemeyer: Yeah, rugs, from places like Chechnya, Uzbekistan. Sound familiar?
Adrian Monk: The shell casing and the grenade.
Captain Stottlemeyer: The Feds think that he's a major arms dealer. They raided his office six months ago. They came up empty-handed. No guns, no nothing, no paper trail. All they could get him on was tax evasion. He did five months. He just got out last Wednesday.
Adrian Monk: And two days later, he's on a roof taking shots at Natalie.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Then he joins her campaign, and then he tries to take you out.
Adrian Monk: What's he after?
Captain Stottlemeyer: I'm not going to wait to find out. Let's go get him.

Adrian Monk: Oh, I can't go. You're on your own. Natalie's waiting for me downstairs. I have to go vote.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Well, that's good. You're doing your civic duty.
Adrian Monk: There's that. Also, if I don't vote, Natalie will... You know.
Captain Stottlemeyer: Oh.

Natalie: Wow, that was weird. I've never voted for myself before. That was- That was really weird. But not bad-weird, good-weird. Actually, that was kind of great-weird.

Adrian Monk: Ah, I can't- I can't breathe in here. There's no- There's no air in here.
Natalie: No, there's air. You can breathe. Lots of air.
Adrian Monk: Oh.
Natalie: How did it go?
Adrian Monk: I'm not... not... Not quite finished. Just just gonna take a little bit of a break. So many choices, huh?
Natalie: Column two. Teeger. Third name down: Teeger.
Adrian Monk: Okay, all right, I'm... I'm going, now. No wonder turnout is so low.

Adrian Monk: Natalie, where did you get that box?
Natalie: I don't know. The- The campaign office.
Adrian Monk: That was Jack Whitman's box, remember? He brought it with food in it from home. Oh, my God, I know what Jack Whitman was after. Have you heard if he's in custody yet?
Natalie: The Captain just called. They said they can't find him.
Adrian Monk: Well, I know where he is going. We got to call the Captain back, and tell him to meet us at the campaign headquarters.
Natalie: What's going on?
Adrian Monk: Tazarr copier. Sound familiar? The copy machine at your campaign office used to belong to Jack Whitman. That's what this whole thing has been about.
Natalie: The copy machine?