Phil: Dad?
Frank Dunphy: Come on in! It's open! Hey! Ah, don't tell me. You need a cup of sugar.
Phil: [chuckles] Nah. Just, uh- I was just wondering, I don't know, uh- Anything on the old noodle?
Frank Dunphy: Other than a bad toupee? I'm kidding, of course. This is my real hair.