‘The Incident’
Season 1, Episode 4 - Aired October 14, 2009
Dede, Jay's ex-wife and Claire and Mitchell's mother, stops by and tries to make amends for "the incident" at Jay and Gloria's wedding. Meanwhile, Claire is reluctant to allow Haley to attend a concert with Dylan.
Quote from Jay
Phil: Manny.
Manny: Phil.
Phil: Nice mustache.
Manny: Thank you.
Jay: Don't make fun. He may burn your house down.
Quote from Jay
Gloria: What is she doing here?
Dede: What does she mean, "What is she doing here?" Mitchell told you I'd be here.
Gloria: Lies!
Mitchell: I couldn't tell her because she wouldn't come. Gloria, my mom wants to apologize for everything.
Jay: So you just spring it on Gloria like this? Mitchell, what the hell is wrong with you?
Gloria: I don't want her apologies.
Jay: And who could blame you, honey? [to Mitchell] Which is why this is a terrible idea by you!
Quote from Gloria
Dede: Oh, wait, wait, Gloria. I d- I just want to tell you how sorry I am for ruining your wedding. I was struggling with being alone. Meanwhile, Jay moves on so easily. And- And not with just anyone. With a young and smart and beautiful woman. I don't expect to forgive me. If I were you, I'd want to punch me right in the mouth.
Gloria: [considering it] I think we've had enough revenge in this family for one day.
Quote from Mitchell
Mitchell: Y-y- You see? Yeah, we're all gonna move past this. And because of me, who- Who's not a mama's boy, but is a caring person with wisdom and emotional insight. So make a note, bitches.
Cameron: That's not a good color on you.
Quote from Phil
Gloria: I forgive you.
Dede: Oh. Wow. I am not prepared for this. I just- I wa- I want to rip your head off!
Gloria: You ruined my wedding!
Phil: [separating them] Oh! I got Gloria! I got Gloria! I got Gloria.
Quote from Phil
Jay: This is ridiculous. Gloria didn't steal me, dede, and you know it. We grew apart for years. And you left to find yourself, remember?
Dede: I thought I could handle this. I'm so sorry.
Gloria: You don't say "sorry" anymore! That word means nothing in your mouth!
Phil: I got Gloria.
Quote from Dede
Mitchell: Well, mom, instead of dredging up the whole incident, maybe we should just try and repress it like a- Like a normal family.
Dede: I can't. I need closure. I'm about to embark on a new journey. I met a man.
Mitchell: Really?
Dede: His name is Chas, And he's asked me to come live with him In his foreign land.
Mitchell: Wow. Where?
Dede: Canada.
Mitchell: You're moving to- To Canada?
Dede: French Canada.