[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Turns out Mitchell really had forgotten his wallet, so proposing wasn't even on his radar. My plan was bulletproof. He was gonna be as blindsided as the fattest hog on founder's day, and I was-
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: Pretty darn proud of myself. I had the ideal proposal. Cam once told me that all he wanted was someone to sit in a rocking chair and grow old with. So while we're at dinner, Claire is setting up two rocking chairs next to the fireplace, with a bottle of champagne. Ohh. He is going to-
[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Squeal like a Berkshire white in a four-man pig toss. Gosh durn it, I miss Founder's Day.

Mitchell: [aside to camera] The restaurant where we had our first date, the sunset lighting that Cam loves. He was going to propose. I-I-I was so touched, but at the same time, he was ruining the one chance I had for romantic redemption.

[aside to camera:]
Cameron: Fortunately, I had an alternate proposal scenario in case there was a problem. Jay and Gloria were babysitting, so I asked them to re-create the picnic under the stars we had the night we moved in to our first apartment. Mitchell would take one look and
[aside to camera:]
Mitchell: Sob like a Tony winner.

Cameron: Sorry about the detour. I was just worried about the pileup on the 405.
Mitchell: Oh, take your time. The drive's actually soothing me.
Cameron: Oh! Oh, my gosh!
Mitchell: Oh! What- What was that?
Cameron: Oh. I think it's a blown tire. It's okay.
Mitchell: Well, I know there's a spare. Do- Do we have the tools?
Cameron: Yeah, yeah. They're in the pillowcase in the trunk.

Claire: Okay, stop. Sorry.
Phil: What?
Claire: I told your dad to call you because I wanted some time for myself. Yeah, couple of days away from my perfect, romantic husband, who is far too good for this cold-hearted, bloodless wife-bot.
Phil: Hey, hey, hey, hey. You have blood.
Claire: Honey, I just put the chairs in front of the fireplace. You made it romantic. Mitchell's right. I'm a ghoul.

Phil: Come here. You're romantic, too, in your own funny way. We're just different. So what if I'm more sentimental?
Claire: Ugh. My mom.
Phil: I mean, sure, marriage needs romance. You know what it also needs?
Claire: "Spoke to Phil, and he suggested-"
Phil: Forgiveness.
[Claire gasps]

Cameron: Okay. Spare, please.
Mitchell: Yes, doctor. I can't believe this has happened to us so many times, we actually have a system.
Cameron: Oh, I know. You've come a long way from the first time you ever saw a jack. Remember, you couldn't believe-
Mitchell: I'm sorry. This is amazing. I am lifting a car right now. I am the strongest man in the world.
Cameron: Oh, do you remember that time in Yosemite when it was snowing so bad?
Mitchell: Yeah. What was that, like six years ago?
Cameron: Oh, gosh. No, it was before Lily, so it was at least seven or eight.
Mitchell: God, it is- It's going by so fast.
Cameron: Yeah. You're telling me. You know, it's a different world down there than it was 24 hours ago.

Jay: Hey, there, you with the stars on your thighs.
Gloria: Huh?
Jay: It's an old song. I thought I would... Eh, why do I bother?