Phil: Hey, honey. What's up?
Claire: Do you remember when summer meant fireflies and cutoff shorts and ice-cream trucks?
Phil: Well, one out of three.

Cameron: [on the phone] I've outdone myself, Gloria. I booked the restaurant from our first date, the same table overlooking the ocean, and I'll do it at sunset, which I've recently discovered is my ideal lighting.

Jay: Look at that line. Probably everybody getting their gay marriage license.
Manny: I think it's just called a marriage license.

Claire: So congratulations on the whole marriage thing.
Mitchell: How amazing is that, right?
Claire: Yeah. We gonna hear some big gay wedding bells soon?
Mitchell: Ah, well, just wedding bells.

Mitchell: Yeah, of course. We've always talked about it. But, you know, it's just- Just a matter of finding the right timing. And then there- There's a couple of other factors: the tax implications and estate planning.
Claire: Oh, stop. I'm swooning.
Mitchell: I'm just being practical. You're the same way. You- You told Phil to take back your engagement ring and buy you a washer/dryer.
Claire: Well, don't put this back on me. Come on. What is Cam's biggest complaint about you? You're not romantic. This is your opportunity. Mitchell, you should go home tonight and surprise him with a big, splashy proposal.
Mitchell: He would really like it if I proposed to him. I guess I could stop after work and pick up a card. And...
Claire: Oh, my God. You're hopeless.

Alex: Dad?
Phil: I'm sorry. Was I being proud of you too loud?
Alex: What are you doing?
Phil: Going off to habitat, helping all those people. Honey, I'm speechless.
Alex: Thanks. I just thought it was-
Phil: But are we sure about Oklahoma? There's so many needy people right up in Sacramento. And it's driving distance.
Alex: I already signed up for my work detail, and I've been e-mailing with my tentmate.
Phil: Yeah. No, you're right. I guess it's just- No. Never mind.
Alex: What is it?
Phil: No, it's stupid. I've just never been so far away from my baby girl before. Not now, waterworks. Not now.
Alex: Oh, daddy.

Luke: You okay, dad?
Phil: Oh, hey, buddy. Never been better. You're so thoughtful. I'm gonna miss that when you go off to camp on the 14th. Little wiffle golf?
Luke: Wait. I can't go to camp on the 14th. I have to go when Carly's going.
Phil: Who's Carly?
Luke: Shh! She's this girl I like, and she's here right now.
Phil: Well, all the more reason to change camp sessions. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. It's foolproof.
Luke: Not this fool. Forget it.
Phil: What about all the new girls you're gonna meet? You're only 14. Do you really want to be tied down?
Luke: Yes!

Phil: Hey, Carly's mom. Phil Dunphy. Big fan of your daughter.
Carly's mom: Thank you.
Phil: So, yeah, heads up. Luke's got to change his camp session. You guys may want to do the same.
Carly's mom: No. My husband and I have been working the white board all week, and we just bought three days away from that.

Phil: Hey, honey. I've been mulling over your Sacramento decision.
Alex: It wasn't exactly my-
Phil: Of course I want my baby girl close, but I got to get used to you leaving. Because college - and knowing you, a great college - is right around the corner. Am I right? Now, Habitat will look good on an application, but does Sacramento really move the needle? I have another place in mind. Little hint, it starts with an "El."
Alex: El Salvador? Are you serious? They have an unstable government and- And earthquakes.
Phil: Boats. Looks like there's a h-hill. I'm just saying, you don't push yourself at this stage, you wind up at a second-tier college. Soon you've lost all your ambition. You're just drifting through life, hoping someone offers you an "M-R-S" degree. Is that who you want to be?

Phil: Hey, princess. Second breakfast? Fun. So, big beach trip coming up, huh?
Haley: Yeah.
Phil: Can't get better than late July, unless it's early Aug-
Haley: Save it, dad. I know you and mom want the house to yourselves.
Phil: Nope.
Haley: I'm the last piece of the puzzle, right? What's it worth to you?
Phil: Fine. How about I pay for gas and two dinners?
Haley: Mnh-mnh. Gas, all dinners, groceries, two new bathing suits, a boogie board, one of those-
Phil: Are you crazy?
Haley: No. I'm also not done.
Phil: Yes, you are done. You know why? You know another way this shakes out? You don't go. That's right. Overplay your hand, I pull the plug, you blow your last chance for a good time with your friends. Word gets out that you're not cool. Then school starts. You end up with your nose in a book all year. No friends, no dates, not caring how you look. Is that who you want to be?