Cameron: There we are Christmas morning last year.
Claire: Oh, my God. Oh, it's Alex's old pajamas! I'm so sorry. I owe you an apology. Sometimes I can be really- What's that?
Cameron: Uh, the calendar opened to December, the half-eaten cookies for Santa Claus, the nibbled-on carrots for reindeer? I don't know.
Claire: No, that looks like last month's Vanity Fair.
Cameron: Oh, well, you know, every month's "young Hollywood."
Claire: Mm, and didn't Lily just lose that tooth?
Cameron: Nope, it's still there. It's just dirty. Christmas-morning chocolates.
Claire: Uh, and I am quite sure that's a reflection of Mitchell in the clothes he was wearing this morning.
Mitchell: Oh, yay, I finally made it into a picture.
Cameron: Just couldn't change, could you?

Gloria: Claire, Cam, enough! Everybody in this family has good taste. It's just different. It's causing too many fights. That's why today I just put everybody in a simple t-shirt-and-jeans outfit. There's a new rule from now on: Nobody gives clothes to anyone else's children.
Cameron: Well, I think that's probably for the best.
[aside to camera:]
Gloria: Thank God I don't have to spend one more of Joe's birthdays with a funny smile on my face.

Claire: Honey, what are you wearing? Is that a girl's shirt?
Luke: I guess I grabbed the wrong one from the laundromat. If I'm being honest, I don't hate the way it fits.
Haley: It must be that guy's girlfriend's shirt. Is it bad that that makes him more interesting to me?
Alex: Yes. Stay away.

Jay: Claire, you're in the back. Phil, you're behind Claire. No rabbit ears. I don't want you messing around behind Claire's back.
[Phil falls asleep again]

Phil: There's something I need to tell you. Uh, you know how you can treasure special moments in your past that in no way diminish the special moments in your present?
Claire: Yeah, sweetheart, it's called having a memory.
Phil: Okay, I wouldn't mind a friendlier tone as I move through this.

Manny: It's scary to let people see the real you, even when those people are your own family. But aren't they the ones we should be least worried about, the ones who will love us without judging, who forgive our faults and celebrate our imperfections? Maybe even encourage us to let our true selves shine through? I think you look beautiful.
Gloria: I look old. All my cousins are going to see this. Click the button that makes my wrinkles go away.