Haley Quote #215

Quote from Haley in And One to Grow On

Alex: What kind of parents lie to their kids?!
Luke: Yeah, what kind of lesson is that to teach all of this?
Alex: Yeah, seriously, sometimes I want-
Haley: Hey, neither one of you knows the whole story. Ah, please. Let me tell them the truth. Alex, the real reason mom doesn't want to teach you to drive is because she doesn't want you getting your license.
Alex: What?
Haley: Think about it. Mom driving you around is kind of her favorite time with you. It's the only place where your nose isn't buried in a book and she can actually talk to you. Sure, you're getting your license, but she's losing her little girl.
Alex: Mom, is that true?
Claire: Come here.

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 ‘And One to Grow On’ Quotes

Quote from Claire

Alex: Hey, mom, can you take me driving? My test is coming up, and I really need to practice.
Claire: Oh, honey, I would, but I've got a big closets and blinds union meeting today.
[aside to camera:]
Claire: There is no closets and blinds union. Driving with Alex is torture. She drives so slowly. I have to be the only parent who slams on the imaginary gas.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Hey, honey.
Claire: Oh, you're just in time for breakfast.
Luke: Ooh, we should probably go light on the food. Something tells me we're not gonna want to do this on a full stomach. I can't believe there's such a thing as autopsy camp.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: There is no such thing as autopsy camp. I had to trick Luke 'cause I'm actually taking him to a ballroom-dance class. He's been resisting, but it's in his blood. I come from a long line of dancing Dunphys -- a kick line, actually.

Quote from Claire

Haley: Hey, I'm not doing anything. I guess I could take her.
Alex: Great! I'll go check the tire pressure and the fluid levels!
Haley: Fun! Can't wait! Be out in a sec! [to Claire] Okay, my rate just went up.
Claire: All right, but this buys your time and your silence. Alex can never know how much I hate driving with her. [horn honks] Mm, she's in a hurry today.
Haley: Oh, that's just step one of her nine-point safety test. Step two is checking the horn to make sure checking the horn didn't break the horn. [horn honks]
Claire: She should never drive.