Claire Quote #403

Quote from Claire in And One to Grow On

Haley: Hey, I'm not doing anything. I guess I could take her.
Alex: Great! I'll go check the tire pressure and the fluid levels!
Haley: Fun! Can't wait! Be out in a sec! [to Claire] Okay, my rate just went up.
Claire: All right, but this buys your time and your silence. Alex can never know how much I hate driving with her. [horn honks] Mm, she's in a hurry today.
Haley: Oh, that's just step one of her nine-point safety test. Step two is checking the horn to make sure checking the horn didn't break the horn. [horn honks]
Claire: She should never drive.


 ‘And One to Grow On’ Quotes

Quote from Claire

Alex: Hey, mom, can you take me driving? My test is coming up, and I really need to practice.
Claire: Oh, honey, I would, but I've got a big closets and blinds union meeting today.
[aside to camera:]
Claire: There is no closets and blinds union. Driving with Alex is torture. She drives so slowly. I have to be the only parent who slams on the imaginary gas.

Quote from Phil

Phil: Hey, honey.
Claire: Oh, you're just in time for breakfast.
Luke: Ooh, we should probably go light on the food. Something tells me we're not gonna want to do this on a full stomach. I can't believe there's such a thing as autopsy camp.
[aside to camera:]
Phil: There is no such thing as autopsy camp. I had to trick Luke 'cause I'm actually taking him to a ballroom-dance class. He's been resisting, but it's in his blood. I come from a long line of dancing Dunphys -- a kick line, actually.

 Claire Dunphy Quotes

Quote from The Closet Case

Claire: [aside to camera] That was the moment I realized Phil wanted me to kick Dylan out so he could be the cool one. Well, I can be cool, too. I'm cooler than cool. I'm frigid.

Quote from Pilot

Claire: [aside to camera] I was out of control growing up. There, you know, I said it. I just don't want my kids to make the same bad mistakes I made. If Hayley never wakes up on a beach in Florida, half-naked I've done my job.
Phil: Our job.
Claire: Right. I've done our job.