‘Door to Door’
Season 3, Episode 4 - Aired October 5, 2011
When Claire decides to petition town council to add a stop sign at an intersection, she asks her family to go door-to-door collecting signatures. Meanwhile, Jay gives Manny advice on being a salesman, Phil and Luke attempt to create a viral video, and Gloria loses Stella.
Quote from Phil
Luke: See? You're not keeping your head in the right position.
Phil: I know that's me, but I'm not remembering any of this.
Quote from Claire
Claire: I have been out there, trying to do something good for our community, because let me tell you, change doesn't just happen. It is forged by empowered women like me and Norma Rae and the lady from "The Blind Side." Do you know what the difference is between me and her? Blind Side's family had her back.
Quote from Cameron
Gloria: Ay, thank god you found my dog. Thank you.
Girl: This is my dog. Her name's Pinky.
Gloria: No, it's not. Her name is Stella. It says right here on the tag.
Cameron: Look. Uh, uh, uh, excuse me. Hi, sweetie. What's your name?
Girl: Blanche.
Cameron: Shut up. Mitchell would die.
Quote from Manny
Jay: What the hell sound is that?
Manny: Coyotes must've got a cat.
Quote from Jay
Manny: I don't have what it takes.
Jay: What kind of talk is that?
Manny: It's the truth, Jay. I'm not a great salesman. I'm not a great businessman. I'm not you. Do you know what it's like to see all the amazing things you've accomplished, knowing I never will? How am I supposed to live up to you? How is anyone?
Jay: Ah, so the fish weren't biting today. So what? That's life. You tried hard, and that's what matters.
Quote from Claire
Duane: Do you have your 50 signatures?
Claire: Uh, almost. I have 34, but I-
Duane: Oh. That's the same thing.
Claire: Wow. I'm confused.
Duane: It's not the same thing.
Claire: No. No.
Duane: 34 is not the same thing as 50, just like a cake is not the same thing as an ice cream cake.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Your honor, permission to approach.
Claire: Not a judge.
Duane: I'll allow it.
Phil: I'll get straight to the point because this is important, and that appears to be an ice cream cake.
Duane: Well, it's not!
Phil: Okay. I present to you "Stop in the Name of Life." Kick it.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Clive Bixby. Can I meet you at Harry's bar in two minutes? Baby, I can do anything in two minutes. I'll just speed through the intersection of Greenleaf and Bristol. It's easy 'cause there's no stop sign.
Luke: I love being a kid. I have my whole life ahead of me.
Quote from Phil
Phil: Allow me. Ladies and gentlemen, I've lived with this woman for 20 years.
Claire: Mm-hmm.
Phil: If she wants a stop sign. There's gonna be a stop sign.
Alex: Mm-hmm.
Haley: He's right.
Luke: Listen to the man.
Quote from Cameron
Cameron: Okay, now that is gratuitous. That's Lily's favorite cereal.