‘Do You Believe In Magic’
Season 8, Episode 12 - Aired February 8, 2017
Phil worries that the romance between him and Claire is fizzling out, so he calls upon his alter ego, Clive Bixby. Gloria is unhappy that Jay seems proud of Joe's inappropriate Valentine's Day gift-giving. Cameron and Mitchell try to support the women in their lives to stand up for themselves, but their advice to Lily, Haley and Sal just lands them in trouble.
Quote from Jay
Manny: Well, call me an idiot, Jay. Sure enough, Alexa and I did end up in a hot tub together. But around her third beer, I suggested she have some water to stay hydrated. She tried to shut me up by kissing me, which I liked, but she kept calling me Travis.
Joe: Oh, my God! Is it still talking?!
Jay: Joe, you don't ever disrespect your brother like that. And no more giving underwear to little girls, or anyone else, 'cause it's creepy and European. Now go to your room.
Quote from Claire
Claire: You mean this watch?
Phil: The Houdini handcuffs.
Claire: I've been taking magic lessons as a Valentine's surprise.
Phil: Wait a minute. The supposed hinge salesman at your office.
Claire: The Great Majesto.
Phil: Of course. I didn't recognize him without his floor-length robe covered in question marks.
Quote from Claire
Phil: Honey, you gave me a V.D. I will carry with me always.
Claire: Let's say "Valentine's Day."
Phil: You know, I never thought you'd beat my gift, but you did. Oh, honey. I'm beginning to think that mine was a swing and a miss.
Claire: Hardly. Yours was fantastic. But how about a swing with a miss?
Phil: You are killing it today!
Claire: I know!
Phil: Did you cover that again?
Claire: I didn't. That's weird. [gasps]
Phil: What the hell?
The Great Majesto: I transported it to the porch. You're welcome.
Claire: I didn't ask him to do that. Or tell him where we live.