Malcolm Quote #400

Quote from Malcolm in Malcolm Holds His Tongue

Coach Oleski: How can we be losing to a team that hasn't won a game in three years?!
Malcolm: [inner monologue] Maybe because you're a complete moron! You know I can shoot! Why won't you put me in?!
Coach Oleski: For God's sake, that's it. Time-out! All right, everybody up, come on! All right, you yo-yos. Do you want to know why we can't beat this team?
Malcolm: [inner monologue] Because you're not letting anyone shoot! We're just passing the ball back and forth!
Coach Oleski: Nobody on this team has any heart. Not a man. You know, when the Allies first hit the beach at Iwo Jima, they didn't have better weapons than the Germans. They had something more than firepower.
Malcolm: [inner monologue] Have you completely lost your mind?! Put me in! Let me shoot... [distorted] the ball!
Coach Oleski: Not one of you has been able to forget about the water in your boots, or the sand in your mess kit long enough to focus on the success of the entire unit!
Malcolm: [inner monologue; distorted] Tell him to shut up and put you in. Tell him, tell him!
Coach Oleski: Malcolm... do you think you can follow my game plan?
Malcolm: [inner monologue; distorted] No, because you're a freakin' idiot. I hate you. I want to kill you and dance on your shallow grave. That's my game plan. [Malcolm nods]
Coach Oleski: All right, get in there.
Malcolm: [spits blood] Thanks.

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 ‘Malcolm Holds His Tongue’ Quotes

Quote from Stevie

Malcolm: What the hell is wrong with me?! Why can't I just learn to shut up?
Stevie: We're... the same. We speak... before... we think.

Quote from Malcolm

Lois: A peptic ulcer? How did you manage to get a peptic ulcer? The doctor said you have the stomach lining of a 60-year-old air traffic controller. You are a teenager, for God's sake. What do you have to be stressed about?!
Malcolm: For your information, I just spent the past three hours on a gurney next to a guy who is still trying to smoke out of the hole in his neck. And the jackass who put in this I.V. couldn't find a vein with two hands and a flashlight! My call button doesn't work! These stupid sheets are itchy. There's only one channel on the TV. And what's this about a bedpan?!

Quote from Hal

Hal: "...and everyone but the rabbit lived happily ever after." And the moral of that fable, son, is that turtles are pathological liars who won't give you their gold.
Dewey: Got it.
[Hal is mesmerized as he sees a power walking team pass through the park]
Dewey: Dad?
Hal: It's like watching the gods return to Olympus.