Hal Quote #372
Quote from Hal in Malcolm Holds His Tongue
Hal: Hey, look, Malcolm, come here. I need you to help me make sense of all these times. Now, these are the last three days. Some of these are with the cap, some without. Some with bike shorts, some without; one with both, one in just my pajamas. So you can whip up some kind of scientific analysis of all this, right?
Malcolm: [inner monologue] Sure, I've only got better to do with the rest of my life. [out loud] Okay.
Hal: You're a good son. By the way, how much allowance are we giving you?
Malcolm: [inner monologue] What family do you live in? [out loud] Nothing, why?
Hal: Well, how does five bucks a week sound?
Malcolm: Great.
Dewey: Hey!
Hal: Dewey, he's older, and he doesn't give me as much malarkey when I ask him for a favor.
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Malcolm Holds His Tongue’ Quotes
Quote from Stevie
Malcolm: What the hell is wrong with me?! Why can't I just learn to shut up?
Stevie: We're... the same. We speak... before... we think.
Quote from Malcolm
Lois: A peptic ulcer? How did you manage to get a peptic ulcer? The doctor said you have the stomach lining of a 60-year-old air traffic controller. You are a teenager, for God's sake. What do you have to be stressed about?!
Malcolm: For your information, I just spent the past three hours on a gurney next to a guy who is still trying to smoke out of the hole in his neck. And the jackass who put in this I.V. couldn't find a vein with two hands and a flashlight! My call button doesn't work! These stupid sheets are itchy. There's only one channel on the TV. And what's this about a bedpan?!
Quote from Hal
Hal: "...and everyone but the rabbit lived happily ever after." And the moral of that fable, son, is that turtles are pathological liars who won't give you their gold.
Dewey: Got it.
[Hal is mesmerized as he sees a power walking team pass through the park]
Dewey: Dad?
Hal: It's like watching the gods return to Olympus.