Malcolm Quote #396
Quote from Malcolm in Malcolm Holds His Tongue
Lois: Malcolm! How many times do I have to tell you to hang up your wet towel after you've used it?! Is that so hard? Because if it is, maybe we should just take your towel away. And the next time you take a shower, you can run around the backyard until you dry.
Malcolm: [inner monologue] Gee, Mom, wouldn't the front yard be more humiliating? [out loud] Sorry.
Lois: And I don't want any- What did you say?
Malcolm: I'm sorry.
Lois: Yes. Well... I can see you boys are studying, so maybe this isn't the best time to deal with this. Do you want any sodas or anything? [exits]
Malcolm in the Middle Quotes
‘Malcolm Holds His Tongue’ Quotes
Quote from Stevie
Malcolm: What the hell is wrong with me?! Why can't I just learn to shut up?
Stevie: We're... the same. We speak... before... we think.
Quote from Malcolm
Lois: A peptic ulcer? How did you manage to get a peptic ulcer? The doctor said you have the stomach lining of a 60-year-old air traffic controller. You are a teenager, for God's sake. What do you have to be stressed about?!
Malcolm: For your information, I just spent the past three hours on a gurney next to a guy who is still trying to smoke out of the hole in his neck. And the jackass who put in this I.V. couldn't find a vein with two hands and a flashlight! My call button doesn't work! These stupid sheets are itchy. There's only one channel on the TV. And what's this about a bedpan?!
Quote from Hal
Hal: "...and everyone but the rabbit lived happily ever after." And the moral of that fable, son, is that turtles are pathological liars who won't give you their gold.
Dewey: Got it.
[Hal is mesmerized as he sees a power walking team pass through the park]
Dewey: Dad?
Hal: It's like watching the gods return to Olympus.