‘Malcolm's Money’
Season 7, Episode 10 - Aired January 6, 2006
Hal talks Lois into spending grant money that was sent to Malcolm. Meanwhile, Reese starts spending time at a retirement home, and Malcolm is unhappy with his yearbook photo.
Quote from Lois
Lois: Listen to yourself! You've gone insane!
Hal: That would be pretty convenient for you, wouldn't it? Well, you are not locking me away!
Dewey: I haven't trusted either of you since I was six!
Hal: All right, all right, let's just split it. Three ways, and we'll all be happy.
Dewey: I wouldn't say happy, but it's a start.
Lois: I have a better idea. We just stop this nonsense and give the money back to Malcolm.
Hal: Okay, you can have your pipes.
Lois: No, Hal, this isn't a bargaining tool. This money has turned us into animals. I'm going down to the bank tomorrow morning and getting a cashier's check in Malcolm's name. Then the three of us can slink away and forget that this whole thing ever happened.
Quote from Dewey
Dewey: Can't you control that woman?
Hal: Watch your tone, young man!
Dewey: Or else what? You'll just cave, like you did with Mom.
Hal: All right, that's it! Go to your room! [Malcolm walks in]
Dewey: I think maybe we should both go to our rooms.
Hal: Fine!
Quote from Hal
Hal: Okay, I sold my car.
Lois: Well, we'll add that to what I got for my engagement ring and my grandmother's pearls.
Dewey: No one wanted to buy my bike, but a bunch of kids did pay to watch me eat a centipede.
Lois: We're doing the right thing. We should all remember that.
Hal: Quit sermonizing. I'll get enough of that from the nut-jobs on the bus.