Ted: You invited him to brunch?
Marshall: Yeah, I invited him to brunch. Why? Is that weird?
Ted: Yes. That's why I was all "You invited him to brunch?"
Marshall: Why can't two guys who are friends go to brunch?
Ted: Because brunch is kind of...
Robin: Girly.
Marshall: Girly? Breakfast isn't girly. Lunch isn't girly. What makes brunch girly?
Ted: I don't know. There's nothing girly about a horse, nothing girly about a horn, but put them together and you get a unicorn.
Marshall: I don't care what either of you say, I am going to the Popover Pantry with Brad. We're here. We're hungry. Get used to it, brunch.

Marshall: God, I love brunch.
Brad: Oh, damn... The zucchini bread is ridonculous.
Marshall: This isn't weird, right?
Brad: I sort of thought it might be, but it totally isn't. Oh and BTW, you totally did not oversell the eggs benny.
Marshall: Right? Right?
Brad: I mean, why can't two single bros go out and rock brunch Sunday morning-style?
Marshall: Exactly. Thank you, that's exactly what I've been saying.

Brad: This must be destiny.
Marshall: What are you talking about?
Brad: I have two tickets for Mamma Mia! Friday night. You like ABBA, right? What am I saying? Who doesn't? Anyway, I was gonna take Kara, but now it's all you and me. We're gonna do Broadway, bro style. What do you say?
Marshall: Yeah!

Lily: [enters] Barney... Oh!
Dawn: Oh my god! Are you married? Is this your wife?
Barney: What? No. [excited] Yes!
Dawn: Yes?
Barney: [ashamed] Yes.
Dawn: You son of a bitch! I can't believe I let you enter my sacred temple.
Barney: Come on, baby. Please, no. Oh, you don't understand. What have I done? This is the worst. How could you...? [Dawn leaves] You're not going anywhere.

Barney: Wow, that was close. That hippie chick wouldn't leave. She was ready to squat here.
Lily: Well, she'd have to with your spring-loaded toilet seat, wouldn't she?
Barney: She was freakishly immune to everything in my apartment... Except you. You're better than porn.
Lily: Thank you.

Robin: Sounds like Brad's got quite the night planned out. You better bring your "A" game. That means no granny panties.
Marshall: All right, you know what? You two are just threatened because I'm a single guy moving in on your couples' stuff. Well, guess what? It's my territory now. I'm peeing all over brunches, fancy dinners and musicals. That's right. Brad and I are taking back Broadway.
Ted: What are you going to wear?
Marshall: I was thinking like this collared shirt and these pin... [Ted and Robin laugh] Oh, you know what? Shut up.

Ted: Okay, that's not too bad. Two single guys on the prowl. It'll be like "Wedding Crashers".
Robin: Just keep Brad away from the bouquet.
Marshall: It gets worse.
[flashback:]
Brad: It gets better. The foliage in Vermont this time of year is ridonc.
Marshall: Vermont?
Brad: Yeah, the wedding's at this awesome B&B. Kara and I used to go there. Anyway, there is one room left, and we got it. Walt Whitman Suite, bro.
[back:]
Ted: You said no, right?
Marshall: Of course.
[flashback:]
Brad: I understand. It's cool. It's the first time I was going to see my college friends since Kara left me. I just... I just miss her so much. [sobbing]
Marshall: I'll go to Vermont with you.
Brad: That's great! You know, uh, they're registered at Pottery Barn. I figure we could go halfsies on a gravy boat.

Marshall: Damn you, brunch! This guy's crazy, right?
Ted: Look, I don't think he's crazy. I just think he's suffering from a severe case of girlfriend withdrawal. And unfortunately, you're his nicotine patch.

Lily: Oh, I think we made the right decision going for the custom-made Italian sheets.
Barney: Hey, if my bed's going to suit up, it's going to do it right. Want to give it a whirl?

Brad: Oh, hey...
Marshall: No, Brad, uh, I don't want to hear it. I do like you. And calla lilies are my favorite flower. I don't know how you knew that. I guess you just get me, but this is not cool, man. I can't believe that you would...
Kara: Hey,sweetie.
Brad: Hey. [Kara and Brad kiss. He hands her the flowers]
Kara: Aww. Hey, Marshall.
Marshall: Hi, Kara. So you guys,are like back together now?
Brad: Yeah. Happened last night. Uh, I'm sorry, bro. I should have called you.
Marshall: Yeah, you should have.
Brad: Well, I didn't mean to hurt...
Marshall: Don't, Brad. Just don't. [leaves]