‘The Locket’
Season 9, Episode 1 - Aired September 23, 2013
As everyone heads to Long Island for Barney and Robin's wedding, the happy couple worry about which of their "wild card" family members will ruin the wedding. Meanwhile, Lily can't take traveling with Ted any more and decides to make her own way there, while Marshall worries about a picture posted online.
Quote from Ted
Lily: Look, I'm sorry. I just got it in my head that you somehow managed to track down that locket in Los Angeles and now you were gonna blow up the wedding.
Ted: You really think I'm that crazy? I guess that's fair.
Lily: Look, even though I was wrong, tell me you aren't thinking about doing anything insane this weekend.
Ted: Of course not.
Future Ted: [v.o.] And all I can say, kids, is at that moment, I really thought I meant it. But the truth is... you never know who's gonna be the wild card at a wedding.
[later, Ted waits in line at an airport:]
Ted: Hi. One ticket to Los Angeles, please.
Quote from Marshall
Daphne: You better hope when Sweaty gets off that phone he can get me on the next flight to New York.
Marshall: I got the password from my mom. I'm gonna take that photo down.
Daphne: You know, I don't give a damn about your photo! My daughter is giving a speech for the model U.N. at her school, and I'm gonna miss it because of you. [sighs] Her father and I are separated. She lives with her dad. And if I don't make it, she's never gonna trust me again.
Marshall: I'm so sorry.
Daphne: Wow, that worked on you? Let's hope Pit Stains is as dumb as you are.
Marshall: Why was this so hard for my mom? All you do is you click the photo, and then you click on the... Oh, I don't see "Options."
Daphne: Just click on "Options."
Marshall: But where is it?
Daphne: Just click on "Options."
Marshall: Is it up in the toolbar?
Daphne: Just click on "Options."
Marshall: It's not there!
Daphne: [loudly] Just click on "Options"!