‘Tailgate’
Season 7, Episode 13 - Aired January 2, 2012
Marshall visits his father's grave to carry on their tradition of tailgating at Vikings-Bears games. Marshall tells the story of the gang's New Year's Eve, where Barney and Ted opened a bar called "Puzzles", and Robin had to cover for a drunk Sandy Rivers.
Quote from Ted
Marshall: [v.o.] And so Puzzles got a bouncer...
Doug: All right, you know what, you guys? No. No, no, no, no, no, you said double what MacLaren's was paying me. And why isn't anyone wearing the hats I brought up?!
Quote from Marshall
Marshall: November 14th, [Lily screams] 1982. Everglades National Park, Florida. Five mysterious lights dance in the night sky. A ray shoots down, lifting the park ranger, [Lily leaves] who, to be fair, was going through a bad divorce and had a habit of lying to get attention.
Quote from Barney
Doug: You know what? Fine, get out of here! We don't need ya! And why doesn't anybody like these hats? I made these hats.
Barney: It's because they' wet, Doug. Why are they all wet?!
Quote from Robin
[When Kevin walks into the bathroom, Sandy Rivers is in the bathtub:]
Sandy Rivers: You must be from the escort service. The scenario is high school wrestling match.
Kevin: [answers phone] Hello?
Robin: So get this: I lost Sandy Rivers.
Kevin: Funny you should mention that.
Robin: It's almost midnight! What am I gonna do, go on the air myself?
Kevin: Listen... Wait. Yeah, do that!
Robin: No, I-I can't actually.
Kevin: Yes, you can. It's what you really want and you deserve it.
Robin: Kevin, that's not how it works.
Kevin: Sounds like that's your only choice. New York's a big city. [turns light off] Sandy Rivers could be anywhere. [closes bathroom door]
Sandy Rivers: And... wrestle!