Marshall: What is that? [picks up a picture of him and Lily] This picture is broken.
Chloe: Oh. That's too bad. Is that Lily? Is that the girl you were going to marry?
Marshall: Yeah. Is that what that sound was? Did you just smash this?
Chloe: No. Why would I do that?
Marshall: Let me look into your eyes.
Chloe: Okay. I had a really nice time tonight.
Marshall: Yeah, me, too. Stop blinking.

[Lily jumps out from behind the couch and lands between Marshall and his date, Chloe:]
Lily: Stop! Hi. I'm Lily.

Future Ted: [v.o.] Now, kids, I know Lily hiding in the apartment while Marshall was on a date with another girl seems pretty crazy, but when you hear her side of the story, well, it's still pretty crazy.

Lily: Why didn't you call me?
Robin: Was I supposed to call you?
Lily: Yes, about the whole Marshall dating another girl thing.
Robin: You said you were fine with it.
Lily: Yeah, in front of Ted, but then I shot you a look.
Robin: What look?
Lily: This.
Robin: That doesn't seem like a look.
Lily: Yes it is. It means, "I'm upset call me later."
Robin: You should have pulled me aside and told me what the look meant.
Lily: If I pulled you aside, I wouldn't need the look.
Robin: Well, maybe if it was a more distinctive look...
Lily: Okay, the look isn't important.

Lily: What's important is that I can't stand the idea of Marshall dating another woman. I mean, what if he falls in love with her?
Robin: Well, if it makes you feel any better, Ted says she has the crazy eyes.
Lily: What's that?
Robin: Apparently, a thing women have that guys can see and it tells them that the girl's crazy.
Lily: Oh, kind of like how you never want to date a guy with perfect fingernails?
Robin: Jerk nails. Exactly.

Lily: Is, um, Chloe here?
Scott: She just left. You can probably still catch her. She's easy to spot, she's got a pink umbrella.
Lily: Oh, thanks, Brian.
Scott: My name is Scott.
Lily: Your tag says Brian.
Scott: I know. Funny story. So, I wake up this morning, and...
Lily: Yeah, see you later, Brian.

Robin: She's hot? I'm so sorry.
Lily: No, it's fine. It just makes things easier. Now that I know she's a threat, all I have to do is keep Marshall from ever seeing her again. Okay, I have two plans, you can help me choose. Plan A, remember that time Marshall and I had sex in the bathroom? Oops, I got knocked up.
Robin: Lily.
Lily: Okay, plan B is called "Chloe's Accident."
Robin: Just stop.

Robin: Now, come on, Ted asked us to be upstairs at 6:00. Some surprise for Barney.
Lily: Barney?
Robin: Uh, Swarley.

Barney: What are you doing?
Ted: I just wanted to listen to a little music, that's all.
Radio D.J.: And this next one's going out to Swarley. All your friends know you miss Barney, but he's gone, and you got to accept that, baby. And, Swarley, you're gonna be a better woman for it. Here's "I Am Woman" by Helen Reddy.

Lily: Hey, where's the picture of Marshall and me at the pier? Didn't it used to be by that window?
Ted: Oh, yeah, he, uh, he sort of took it down when you left. Put it behind some books, I think.
Lily: Oh, well-well, maybe I should put it back up.
Ted: Why, so Chloe'll see it and get scared off?
Lily: No. So Marshall'll see it and feel guilty.