Lily: So, when are you leaving?
Ted: Day after the wedding.
Lily: What? You can't miss the day after the wedding. That's when we sit around all hungover, drinking mimosas and talking smack about who looked fat. That's my Christmas. Why are you in such a rush to get out of there? Oh. Of course. You're not leaving because you think the love of your life isn't in New York. You're leaving because you think she is. And this time next week, she'll be married to your best friend.

Lily: [answers phone] Baby! I am in the middle of something super dramatic here. But real quick: If you let Judy come to Rome with us, you are going to have to find someone else to do your laundry
and massage your feet. Oh, my gosh, she's going to do all that, won't she?
Marshall: Lily, you have to stop freaking out. Nothing is going to screw up the plan. We're doing this. I love you.
Lily: I love you, baby. Bye.
Marshall: [answers another call] Hello?
Man: Hi. Marshall Eriksen? I'm calling from the New York State Judiciary Committee. Uh, you applied for a judgeship a few months ago, remember?
Marshall: Uh, of... of course.
Man: Well, I have good news. We have a last-minute opening on the bench.
Marshall: What are you saying to me right now?
Man: I'm saying congratulations. We want you to be a judge.

Barney: Wow. Now that we've broken up a seven-year relationship just 'cause they stole our table, I feel kind of...
Robin: Awesome?
Barney: I was going to say horny, but yeah, awesome, too.
Robin: No way. Are you kidding me?
Barney: What? Whoa. Is there going to be a fight? Okay, here's the play. You take the girl, and the guy and I will watch.

Barney: That was us. We made that happen. We're pretty cool.
Robin: And, you know, a week from today, we are going to be legend... wait for it...
Barney: Married.
Both: Legend-married.
Barney: Robin Scherbatsky, I love you so damn much.
Robin: I love you, too, Barney Scherbatsky. That sounds good. Think about it.

Ted: She called me up the other day. She was trying to dig up this locket she had buried behind the Central Park Carousel, and I blew off that big interview to go help her. And then... it started raining.
[flashback:]
Ted: I'll, uh... I'll see you at the wedding.
Robin: Yeah.
[present:]
Ted: Even now, after all these years, there's still just this part of me where, if there's even the slightest chance something I do could make Robin smile, I don't even think about it, I just do it. I mean, if I could make that locket magically appear, I would. I would open a vein in my arm if I could bleed that locket out, just to make her happy. That's just a really sucky way to feel about your best friend's fiancée. So I'm going to come to the wedding, and, you know, I'll have a good time, but after that, I... What?
Lily: I know where the locket is.

Ted: What?
Lily: I know where the locket is. It... It was a few years ago, right before you were supposed to marry Stella. [v.o.] I went down to the bar one night to get a drink, and what should I see?
[flashback:]
Robin: [drunk] Lily! Hey, girl. I got a question for you. Why isn't Ted marrying me?
Lily: Whoa.
Robin: I'm sorry. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I just... I-I should be happy for him, and yet here I am, moving off to Japan just to get away from him. And- And I guess to see those, those terra-cotta warriors and the Great Wall.
Lily: Well, that's China.
Robin: What? This? No, it's just a paper plate. [plate smashes]
Lily: Uh, we should get out of here. Come on. Come on.
Robin: Oh, totally. I know just where we should go.
[flashback to the park:]
Lily: Man, you're fast when you're drunk. But at least you're still making good decisions. Central Park, around midnight, digging a hole with a spoon. Solid.
Robin: Jackpot.
Lily: What is that?
Robin: My something old.
[flashback to the apartment:]
Robin: This locket was my grandma's. She kept it hidden in her butt all through World War II.
Lily: What? Where was she?
Robin: Winnipeg. [laughs] Oh, come on. Lily, it's a joke. Yeah, I was going to wear this when I married Ted. I guess that's not going to happen. So I am taking it with me to Japan. Okay, Lily, help me put this locket in my butt.
Lily: Okay. Uh, you know what? Why don't we put it in this pencil box instead?
Robin: Oh, and then I will take the pencil box with me to Japan. Okay. Hey, Lily? Help me put this pencil box in my butt. Wait! There's one other thing I have to do. Lily, it's very important. It's something that needs to happen right now.
Lily: Yeah?
[present:]
Lily: Then she barfed in my face. It was a lovely night.

Ted: Wait. You put the locket in the race car pencil box?
Lily: Yep. And then Robin took it to Japan.
Ted: No, she didn't. It's sitting on my desk at home right now. It's been with me all along.
Lily: Ted.
Ted: The locket is in the pencil box. This is awesome.
Lily: Ted.
Ted: No, I just... I just mean, this is going to be the best wedding gift ever. It's going to blow her mind.
Lily: Ted. Be careful.

Marcus: You still haven't told her.
Marshall: No. This is face-to-face news.
Marcus: Good luck with that, Your Honor.

Ted: Hey, I don't want to draw focus from the wedding, so... Don't tell anyone about Chicago.
Lily: It's a major city with a bunch of sports teams and some pretty good pizza. I think people know about Chicago. What time do you leave on Monday?
Ted: Early. Gonna have to head back to the city Sunday night.
Lily: How are you going to get back?
Ted: Guess I'll take the train.