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24Quotes from ‘Something Old’

How I Met Your Mother: Something Old

823. Something Old

Aired May 6, 2013

Robin desperately searches for "something old" she buried in Central Park years ago. Meanwhile, Marshall and Lily ask Ted to help them pack for Italy, while Barney bonds with Robin's father.

Quote from Ted

Ted: Now, as you know, I'm a bit of a legend when it comes to packing.
Marshall & Lily: We know.
Ted: Tales are still told of the time I traveled all through Mexico for two weeks with everything I needed efficiently packed into a hands-free belt satchel. The locals called me...
[title: "El Ganso con la Riñonera"]
Lily: Yeah, it's not a "hands-free belt satchel," Ted. It's a fanny pack.
Ted: It's not a fanny pack.
Marshall: In Spanish, El Ganso con la Riñonera means "Fanny Pack Dork."
Ted: No, it doesn't. It means "Packer of Great Skill and Merit."
Future Ted: [v.o.] I looked it up. It means "Fanny Pack Dork."

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Quote from Lily

Marshall: But these handbags? Gonzo.
Lily: No way! These have sentimental meaning to me.
Marshall: Didn't you shop-lift these in your 20s?
Lily: Yes, and I get very nostalgic for that time. You get older, you have kids, you stop stealing, it's sad.

Quote from Robin

Future Ted: [v.o.] In 1994, Robin's dad took her to New York City for the first time...
[flashback:]
Robin: This is amazing! Thank you, sir!
Robin Sr.: Well, a little father-son bonding trip never hurt anyone.
Robin: I-I did almost die from malnutrition on that wolf hunt last year...
Robin Sr.: I had to almost kill you for you to learn how to kill.
Robin: [sighs happily] New York City's the best, eh?
Robin Sr.: I despise it. It's like Edmonton, minus the arts and culture. Come on, we'll miss our flight.
Robin: I'll catch up. [to herself] One day, I'm gonna move here, marry a sophisticated big-city man with a sick mullet - like all the way down to his shoulder pads, and at night, he'll let me brush it - and I'll dig up this locket so it can be my "something old" at our wedding.
Robin Sr.: R.J.!
Robin: Coming, sir! [whispers] I'll be back for you.

Quote from Marshall

Future Ted: [v.o.] So while Robin searched for her something old, Lily and Marshall packed for their something new: Lily's year-long art consultant gig in Italy.
Lily: I still can't believe we have to say goodbye to this place...
Marshall: Oh. I know, baby. But look at it as an excuse to simplify our lives. You know, we can't bring everything to Italy, so we gotta throw out some junk. For example, look. My old Sasquatch binders that "I could never throw away because I was gonna be the guy who proved the existence of Bigfoot..." These are obviously coming to Italy.

Quote from Ted

Lily: Okay, Marshall, we don't have time to argue over what stays and what goes.
Marshall: Ooh, you know who we gotta bring in?
Lily: Okay, I agree he is good at this stuff, but he just gets so cocky.
Marshall: No, he doesn't.
[later, Lily opens the door to a sunglasses-wearing Ted:]
Ted: So I heard you guys have a bit of a... packing situation.
Marshall: I acknowledge now this was a mistake.
Ted: Look, I came here to chew bubblegum and pack boxes. And I'm all out of bubble gum... [gulps, chokes] Oh, my God.... Oh, my God. I swallowed it. Is that bad?
[later:]
Ted: Okay, thank you. Well, Dr. Goldsmith says I should be fine. I just have to look for it in my stool. So as I was saying, I heard you guys have a bit of a... packing situation.


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